NEWS
Study Abroad Boasts New Locations Only Accessible via Magic…
BOSTON—Wow! Boston University’s Study Abroad program will now feature new locations thanks to the Magic School Bus. Students can expect …
LIFESTYLE
Freshman Pledge Mispronounces Frat Name, Accidentally Summons Demon
ALLSTON—A small disturbance was reported Friday night at the Alpha Sigma Ligma fraternity chapter meeting when pledge Ryan Rohens (CGS …
OPINION
6 Inanimate Objects Boston University Values Over Its Students
With Boston University’s student programs and outreach initiatives, you might believe this cold, hard, 180 year old institution cares about …
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OTHER NEWS
Charles River Renamed Chuck River on Casual Friday
CHARLES RIVER- Late Thursday night, The Charles River announced that it will be renamed “The Chuck River” for Casual Friday. “We like to keep it…
Condom Fairy Not What Expected
WARREN TOWERS—A Warren resident is still traumatized after catching a glimpse of the Condom Fairy late last night, sources report. A visibly upset Vanessa Collins…
Everything Done Half-Assed Due To Upcoming Finals
SOUTH CAMPUS—Sources have confi
Snowy Sidewalk Finally Gets Plowed, Gains New Sexual Confidence
After a long few weeks covered with snow (the same as last winter), that one snowy sidewalk FINALLY got plowed. Her friends celebrated with her,…
Dining Halls Struggling to Find New Interesting Names for the Same Piece of Dry Chicken…
THE DINING HALLS – Last Thursday, the heads of Warren, West, and Bay State dining halls conducted an emergency meeting to brainstorm new creative names…