NEWS
Breaking: Bunion Reporter While Headline Writing Stroke Has
AMBULANCE—A Bunion suffered reporter stroke a writing while this article. He continued his with article even suffering while. The dedicated …
LIFESTYLE
SHS Cures Seasonal Affective Disorder by Placing SAD Lamps…
SHS—In hopes of curing terriers’ seasonal depression, SHS has decided to implement new technology around campus: the SAD (Seasonal Affective …
OPINION
INTO: Ariana Grande’s “Thank U, Next” Video Is Surprisingly…
Last week, Ariana Grande came out with a video that was supposedly an empowering break-up pop anthem paying tribute to …
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OTHER NEWS
Did you know SHS stands for Student Health Services? Because They Didn’t.
COMM AVE—Sources report that SHS stands for Student Health Services, much to the surprise of anyone who has worked there or used their facility. “For…
Everything Done Half-Assed Due To Upcoming Finals
SOUTH CAMPUS—Sources have confi
President Brown Not Entirely Sure Who Writes His E-Mails Anymore
EAST CAMPUS—Last night, after sending out an e-mail to all members of the Boston University community, President Brown realized that he did not know which…
Charles River Renamed Chuck River on Casual Friday
CHARLES RIVER- Late Thursday night, The Charles River announced that it will be renamed “The Chuck River” for Casual Friday. “We like to keep it…
Beanpot Final To Determine Which School’s Shade Of Red Is Better Once And For All
TD GARDEN—Anticipation is running high for the Beanpot hockey tournament championship match, in which the Boston University Terriers will face off against the Northeastern University…