MARSH PLAZA, Thursday—Sophomore Will Barnes (CAS ’19) is sojazzed for Thanksgiving, he has already begun the lengthy process of bastinghimself with rosemary and oil. Passerby at Marsh Plaza have been observing his process ever since he laid down a tarp late Sunday night.

“It’s really quite simple, I just trying to lock in as much flavor as possible before I go home for thanksgiving dinner.” Barnes said from his tarp.

Barnes has been sleeping alongside two long sprigs of thyme, hoping to infuse lots of complex flavor. He’s also been seen sprinkling himself with a little bit of lemon zest, for acid and brightness.

“If he keeps this up until Thanksgiving break…wow. I can’t even imagine how juicy and flavorful this kid is going to be.” Commented Julie Hernandez (COM ’20) as she passed by.

Barnes has been making use of industrial amounts of salt, pepper, garlic powder, and bay leaves, to balance out all of those those aromatic fresh herbs.

According to SHA Professor Mindy Harris, “If the festive smells coming from Marsh Plaza are any indication of his progress, we should all be very proud of Mr. Barnes.”

At press time, Barnes declined to tell us what kind of sides and sauces we should expect from him in the coming weeks.

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