Photoshopped by Tim Choi (COM '22)
Timothy Choi (COM '22)

Tim is a freshman from a cornfield just outside of Chicago, IL studying Film & Television.

WARREN TOWERS—Patty Plinkton (SHA ‘22) found herself on the wrong side of the law last Tuesday when she was scammed out of her personal belongings.

“Oh that? That wasn’t a scam, I’m not dumb enough to fall for those,” she told The Bunion. “There was a street magician doing a trick, and he asked me to hand over my wallet, and then he made my debit card and license disappear. Sure, he hasn’t made them reappear, but a magician never reveals his secrets, so I’m not gonna press him.”

BUPD Officer Oelschlager warns that such scams have become increasingly common, and are targeted at college students who may think they are too smart to fall for a scam and subsequently fail to take care around scammers. BUPD has reportedly found that hubris is the number one cause of bank robberies in 2018.

David Kwon (ENG ‘20) and Melissa Vanderbilt (CAS ‘19) scoffed when told about the scam.

“What an idiot,” Kwon retorted. “You’d have to be completely oblivious to actually believe something like that.”

Vanderbilt agreed. “Some people just don’t have any common sense.”

Immediately after speaking, an alarm went off at a nearby art museum and a man in a ski mask ran out. He proceeded to shove pieces of artwork into the two students’ backpacks.

“Oh this? This is just Steven, he asked us to watch his midterm project for a couple weeks while he went on vacation,” Vanderbilt explained. “No, silly, of course this isn’t a scam. He told us his name and everything.”

Officer Oelschlager advises students to be wary of potential scams. “Honestly, it’s not that hard,” he complained as he helped four men in clown masks load duffel bags of money into a nearby black van. “These kids just need to grow a brain.”

At press time, all login info for The Bunion website is being given to a man on the street, but don’t worry, he says he works for BU IT and can make some improvements.

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