Due to their confusingly similar wood-shaving compositions, BU hockey player Jim Montague (CAS ’16) has once again mixed up his pencil and hockey stick.
“He just came into class and started trying to take an exam with his hockey stick,” said classmate Tina Love (CAS ’15). “I knew as soon I heard loud banging noises behind me that he was trying to ram the stick against his Scantron sheet again.”
Officials believe that BU’s 4-3 victory against Northeastern in the Beanpot hockey tournament last week is the primary cause for Montague’s penmanship faux pas.
“I just grabbed [the hockey stick] on my way out the door in the morning instead of an actual pencil,” Montague explained. “To be honest, I didn’t even notice it when I was rooting around in my bag before the test.”
Montague commented that this was unfortunately not the first time he had the misfortune of confusing the quintessential writing instrument and the 6-foot sporting good.
“I guess I have to be more vigilant. But I guess that’s what I told myself the last twelve times I made this mix-up,” Montague said as he donned a Terriers away game jersey for a fancy dinner date he had that evening.
David Armstrong, Montague’s American Foreign Policy professor, offered his own account of Montague’s troubling misunderstanding of wood-handled instruments.
“This definitely isn’t the first time that this has happened,” Armstrong said. “One time, he asked if he could sharpen his hockey stick with the pencil sharpener.”
“He had to take off the plastic end to sharpen it. And he still didn’t realize it wasn’t a pencil,” Armstrong recalled as he grappled with Montague’s complete lack of awareness of what was in his hands.
Many students noticed a hockey stick bulging out of Montague’s backpack during the day, but declined to inform him due to fear of being hit with said hockey stick.
At press time, Montague was reported to be struggling to slowly inch a hockey puck across the rink with a No. 2 pencil.