The Bunion is a satire news publication for the Boston University community created by Kevin Flynn on September 6th, 2012. The Bunion is meant for entertainment purposes only. All sources and quotes are fabricated. The use of the names or likenesses of notable Boston University figures or students is entirely fictional and for satirical purposes. Any resemblance to actual events is coincidental.
The Bunion is a registered student organization at Boston University under the Deerfield Road. The Bunion does not receive any funding from the university, and any content published by The Bunion is not representative of the views of the university.
See the full list of people who have contributed to The Bunion here.
FALL 2019 STAFF
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Abisola Akinsete
Podcast Editor, Producer of Dunces & Dragons
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Aiden Cliff
Marketing Staff
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Alexa Lipkin
Marketing Director
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Anders Larson
Pete's — BTS/Marketing Team
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Anika Brahmbhatt
Social Media Staff
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Anna Kate Fahey
Staff Writer
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Anna Schoff
Associate Quiz Editor
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Arianna Ortiz
Pete's — Marketing Head
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Avery Lender
Staff Writer
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Caitlin Flannery
Social Media Staff
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Carissa Wang
Pete's — AD
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Caroline Bohnenberger
Pete's — Actor (Bonnie)
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Caroline Koehl
Staff Editor
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Cassie Berta
Photo Staff
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Charlie McMahon
Marketing Staff
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Chase Madden
Assignment Editor, Producer of Crimes on Comm Ave
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CJ Zachara
Staff Editor
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Codell Christensen
Marketing Staff
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Daniel Dash
Pete's — Actor (Logan)
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Daniel Kool
Staff Writer
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Daniel Ronkin
Associate Marketing Director
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David Simon
Associate Photo Editor
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Ella Morgan
Associate Crossword Editor
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Emily Lyons
Social Media Staff
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Emily Rosen
Staff Writer
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Emma Grace Cowan
Dunces & Dragons — Sound Engineer & Player
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Emma Moneuse
Pete's — Lights
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Emma Simonoff
Staff Writer, Social Media Staff
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Ethan Brown
Editor in Chief
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Fatemeh Khanmohammadi
Marketing Staff
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Gavin Mastella
Pete's — PA
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Gayane Kaligian
Pete's — Makeup
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Greta Gurvits
Pete's — PA
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Haley Zenenberg
Producer of Between Two Rhetts
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Hannah Petosa
Editor & Weekly Bupdate Coordinator
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Hannah Shearer
Staff Writer, Social Media Staff
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Heather Hayes
Marketing Staff
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Iya Hawkins
Secretary
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Jack Kelleher
Benched — Writer
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Jacob Cohen
Photo Editor
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Jenny Kornreich
Social Media Staff
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Jillian Degrandt
Marketing Staff
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Joshua Cram
Staff Writer
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Kacia Cheung
Pete's — Marketing Head
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Kacia Cheung
Pete's — Marketing Head
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Karen Martinez Novoa
Staff Writer, Photo Staff
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Kate Anderson
Staff Writer
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Katherine Yang
Pete's — Sound
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Katie Sorrell
Between Two Rhetts — Writer
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Khloe Katende
Dunces & Dragons — Copywriter & Player
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Lauren Kelmar
Copy Editor
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Layla Wickwire
Staff Writer, Producer of Bunion Student Outreach Project
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Liam Grogan
Staff Writer
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Lily Dales
Staff Writer
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Lora Galich
Pete's — Sound
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Maddie Kolber
Digital Copywriter
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Maddy Mermelstein
Staff Editor
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Maddy Schmidt
Managing Editor
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Maelee Chen
Dunces & Dragons — Player
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Mahima Masetty
Associate Media Editor
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Malaika Moyer
Pete's — Script Supervisor
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Marilyn Rutecki
Marketing Staff
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Max Brown
Marketing Staff
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Meera Sabeh
Pete's — Camera Op
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Megan Antone
Producer of Pete's
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Megan Barnett
Pete's — Actor (Olivia)
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Michael Washington
Dunces & Dragons — Player
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Michael Washington
Dunces & Dragons — Player
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Michael Yue
Photo Staff
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Natalie Lileks
Pete's — PA
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Olivia Fumiatti
Pete's — Actor (Lauri)
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Pablo Cordon
Associate Video Editor, Producer of Pete's
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Patrick Rayburn
Photo Staff
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Patrick Snyder
Marketing Staff
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Pratima Vaidyanathan
Pete's — PA
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Reid Phillips
Staff Writer
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Robert Branning
Special Projects Editor, Producer of BunionWars and Benched
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Sam Lurie
Marketing Staff
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Samantha Dilsheimer
Quiz Editor
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Samantha Vatalaro
Editor & Treasurer
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Sebastian Jaramillo
Pete's — Lights
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Serra Tekce
Media Editor, Producer of Crimes on Comm Ave
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Shannon Damiano
Associate Photo Editor
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Sophia Yakumithis
Staff Writer
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Stephanie Prisco
Associate Digital Editor
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Thomas Silver
Staff Writer
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Timothy Choi
Senior Multimedia Editor
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Vanessa Kjeldsen
Photo Staff
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Varsha Subramanian
Pete's — BTS/Marketing Team
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Vedin Kymal
Marketing Staff, Digital Copywriter
Abisola Akinsete
Podcast Editor, Producer of Dunces & Dragons
Abi Akinsete is a sophomore currently trying to take classes in every college in BU in a desperate attempt to be considered employable. They have no discernible personality outside of playing D&D and stressing about grades.
Aiden Cliff
Marketing Staff
Freshman studying Econ in CAS and KHC. Coerced into the bunion by Alexa. I have yet to propose a marketing idea that hasn’t got shut down.
Anders Larson
Pete's — BTS/Marketing Team
Anika Brahmbhatt
Social Media Staff
Anika is a freshman from San Diego, California studying Media Science in COM.
Anna Kate Fahey
Staff Writer
Anna Kate is a sophomore studying Film & Television. She has two names in order to fit in twice the personality.
Anna Schoff
Associate Quiz Editor
Anna is a sophomore studying Linguistics in CAS. She’s from one of the livable parts of New Jersey.
Arianna Ortiz
Pete's — Marketing Head
Besides binging Law & Order, Arianna enjoys making really bad memes, inhaling hot Cheetos, and disappointing her parents.
Avery Lender
Staff Writer
Avery is a freshman from NYC studying Film and TV. She likes long walks to the Baystate dining hall.
Caitlin Flannery
Social Media Staff
Caitlin is a senior studying Earth and Environmental Sciences. She is from Milford, MA.
Carissa Wang
Pete's — AD
Carissa is a senior film and television major at BU. Some of her hobbies include exploring new places, singing in the shower, and eating takis late at night.
Caroline Bohnenberger
Pete's — Actor (Bonnie)
Innnnnnnn West Philadelphia(n suburbs) born and raised, in the snack section of CVS is where she spends most of her days.
Caroline Koehl
Staff Editor
Caroline Koehl is a second year student from Minneapolis, MN. She is studying International Relations and Environmental Analysis & Policy.
Cassie Berta
Photo Staff
Cassie is a junior Film TV major and a Women’s Studies minor. She likes poetry, teaching sex ed, and watching “Cheers.”
Charlie McMahon
Marketing Staff
Freshman studying human physiology. I thought this was a bunion support group, now I’m on the marketing team…
Chase Madden
Assignment Editor, Producer of Crimes on Comm Ave
Chase studies finance at Questrom and undoubtedly would be placed in Slytherin because of it.
CJ Zachara
Staff Editor
CJ is a junior in COM studying Film and Television. He is from Maplewood, New Jersey.
Codell Christensen
Marketing Staff
Daniel Dash
Pete's — Actor (Logan)
I’m a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences, majoring in Computer Science. Oh, and I will kill for Krispy Kreme.
Daniel Kool
Staff Writer
Daniel Kool is a Freshman from Minnesota studying Journalism. He plays the banjo but hopes you won’t judge him for it.
Daniel Ronkin
Associate Marketing Director
My name is Daniel Ronkin. I am a senior Biology Major and Economics Minor, on a pre-dental path. I am an avid entrepreneur and work in the beverage industry. I am a lover of all foods, especially sweets, and swear by the words, “live life with a purpose!”
David Simon
Associate Photo Editor
A former math major and a current illiterate, David Simon is a journalism major for reasons that elude him. As a Boston University student, he does photography for The Bunion, as well as act in shows on campus, write for other news organizations, and fail classes.
Ella Morgan
Associate Crossword Editor
Ella is a junior from Texas studying journalism in COM, y’all.
Emily Lyons
Social Media Staff
FROM: Boston University Alert Service: The suspect, Emily, has been apprehended. She is a sophomore from Chelmsford, MA, studying Film and Television.
Emily Rosen
Staff Writer
Emily is a Senior studying Film and Television. She is originally from Orange County, California and plans on pursuing a career in entertainment law. If that doesn’t work out, then she will move to rural Nevada and open up a pawn shop.
Emma Grace Cowan
Dunces & Dragons — Sound Engineer & Player
Emma doesn’t really know why she’s here, but she’s here. She’s from New York (but the suburb part). She’s somewhere between young and old. She likes movies.
Emma Moneuse
Pete's — Lights
Emma Simonoff
Staff Writer, Social Media Staff
Emma Simonoff is a Junior studying Film and TV.https://thebunionpaper.com/wp-admin/edit.php?post_type=layers-heroes
Ethan Brown
Editor in Chief
Ethan is a junior from Bethel, CT studying Film & Television and Environmental Analysis & Policy.
Fatemeh Khanmohammadi
Marketing Staff
Gavin Mastella
Pete's — PA
Gavin is a Freshman in COM for Film and Television. He chose this major because he wanted to learn how to build a TV, but after a few weeks of studying it, he thinks he may have misinterpreted the name. He also does a pretty good impression of Gollum from Lord of the Rings but if you want to hear it you’ll have to give him 10 bucks at least.
Gayane Kaligian
Pete's — Makeup
Greta Gurvits
Pete's — PA
Greta is a sophomore studying Film & TV from San Francisco. She enjoys comedy, watching old sitcoms, and salsa dancing.
Haley Zenenberg
Producer of Between Two Rhetts
Haley is a Junior from New Jersey studying Film and Television in COM. When asked what her ideal date would be, she replied, April 25th, because it’s not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light sweater.
Hannah Petosa
Editor & Weekly Bupdate Coordinator
Hannah is a Senior from South Florida studying Film & TV. She has been writing and performing comedy since she was 15.
Hannah Shearer
Staff Writer, Social Media Staff
Heather Hayes
Marketing Staff
Received a lifetime ban from Jewish Penicillin.
Iya Hawkins
Secretary
Iya Hawkins is a senior transfer from NYC studying Film & TV. Fish are friends not food. She’s also a pescatarian.
Jack Kelleher
Benched — Writer
Jack is an optimist. He looks around in his CGS classes and thinks, “Well it could be worse, I could be at B.C.”
Jacob Cohen
Photo Editor
Jenny Kornreich
Social Media Staff
Jenny is a freshman from Milwaukee, Wisconsin studying journalism in COM.
Jillian Degrandt
Marketing Staff
Jillian is a sophomore from Watertown, WI, studying Film and TV, Advertising, and Psychology. When she’s not working on shows for BUTV10 or studying, she likes exploring the city and eating french fries.
Joshua Cram
Staff Writer
Josh is a freshman from Malden, MA. He is currently studying International Relations in the Pardee School.
Kacia Cheung
Pete's — Marketing Head
Kacia Cheung
Pete's — Marketing Head
Karen Martinez Novoa
Staff Writer, Photo Staff
Karen is a sophomore studying Film and Visual Arts. Don’t ask her where she’s from because she doesn’t know either.
Kate Anderson
Staff Writer
Kate is a sophomore from Virginia Beach, Virginia studying Film and TV.
Katherine Yang
Pete's — Sound
Katie Sorrell
Between Two Rhetts — Writer
I’m a sophomore in COM studying Film and Television. Fun fact: I’m half Florida Man. Which makes me 100% chaotic neutral.
Khloe Katende
Dunces & Dragons — Copywriter & Player
Khloe Katende is a person of many names, described as her advisor’s “first astrophysics major” (in a vaguely worrying tone) and also labeled a “language nerd” by her Rhetoric teacher her first semester (sadly undeniable). Her hobbies include not having regularly colored hair, failing calculus, and finding fun new ways to try to transfer out of CGS before her two year period is up.
Lauren Kelmar
Copy Editor
Lauren is a junior from Palo Alto, CA studying Film and Television. She thinks flaming hot cheetos and Nutella go well together.
Layla Wickwire
Staff Writer, Producer of Bunion Student Outreach Project
Layla Wickwire is a Senior studying Film and Television in COM.
Liam Grogan
Staff Writer
Liam Grogan is a Freshman in COM studying Film/TV, but if his parents ask he’s studying business in Questrom…
Lily Dales
Staff Writer
Lily Dales (CAS ’21) is an English and history major from Dallas, TX. Catch her accidentally falling on Comm Ave (she’s quirky and can’t help it). If you are going to speak to her in Spanish, please address her in the formal “usted.”
Lora Galich
Pete's — Sound
Lora Galich is a junior from Chicago studying Film and TV. She’s a big believer in seatbelts, loves a good game of tag, and sometimes gets mad.
Maddie Kolber
Digital Copywriter
Maddy Mermelstein
Staff Editor
Maddy is a Senior from Newton, MA, studying Film and Television and Sociology. Fun fact: She can take the T home!
Maddy Schmidt
Managing Editor
Maddy Schmidt is a junior from New Jersey studying Film & TV. She likes kombucha for the taste.
Maelee Chen
Dunces & Dragons — Player
Despite the name of Maelee’s character, Saunik Hej’haugg, she has never played a game in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise and is not sure if she intends to.
Mahima Masetty
Associate Media Editor
Mahima is a sophomore from Hyderabad, India studying Business.
Malaika Moyer
Pete's — Script Supervisor
Malaika Moyer is a junior studying film & tv and advertising from San Diego. She can and will out-karaoke you.
Marilyn Rutecki
Marketing Staff
Marilyn is a sophomore studying political science and environmental science and her only talent is knowing the ad libs to Migos songs.
Max Brown
Marketing Staff
Meera Sabeh
Pete's — Camera Op
Meera is a junior from Fall River, Massachusetts and studies Film & TV and Public Relations. She is always looking for other people who can see 3D Magic Eye Posters.
Megan Antone
Producer of Pete's
Megan Antone is a junior with no true place of origin. If you find her floating aimlessly through space, you can win $25.
Megan Barnett
Pete's — Actor (Olivia)
Michael Washington
Dunces & Dragons — Player
Michael Washington
Dunces & Dragons — Player
Michael Yue
Photo Staff
Natalie Lileks
Pete's — PA
Olivia Fumiatti
Pete's — Actor (Lauri)
The Snack That Smiles Back
Pablo Cordon
Associate Video Editor, Producer of Pete's
Patrick Rayburn
Photo Staff
Patrick Snyder
Marketing Staff
Patrick is from Boston and enjoys the finer things in life like French wine, a good book you can really get into, and criticising everything with unfounded evidence. He was coerced into joining the Bunion team but is happy to be here.
Pratima Vaidyanathan
Pete's — PA
Reid Phillips
Staff Writer
Reid Phillips is a Sophomore studying Film & TV (yikes). When not writing about BU’s rat-to-cone ratio, she can be found on the third floor of Mugar, wherever there’s an outlet.
Robert Branning
Special Projects Editor, Producer of BunionWars and Benched
Robert is a 3rd year transfer student from Stevensville, MD studying Film & Television with a minor in Vocal Performance.
Sam Lurie
Marketing Staff
Sam is a sophomore from Mamaroneck, NY, studying Advertising and Psychology. She’s a Hebrew School dropout and her go-to genre of choice is 80s synth-pop.
Samantha Dilsheimer
Quiz Editor
Samantha is a sophomore from Philadelphia studying film/TV. She likes piña coladas, getting caught in the rain, and bad 70s music.
Samantha Vatalaro
Editor & Treasurer
Sam is a sophomore from Saratoga Springs, NY majoring in Film & TV, and, well, you know what they say.
Sebastian Jaramillo
Pete's — Lights
Serra Tekce
Media Editor, Producer of Crimes on Comm Ave
Serra is a junior from West Hartford, CT studying Health Science on a Pre-Law track.
Shannon Damiano
Associate Photo Editor
Shannon Damiano is a sophomore from New Jersey studying Media Science. If her roommate is reading this, she knows you ate her hummus.
Sophia Yakumithis
Staff Writer
Sophia is a junior studying history and art history. She has a good personality.
Stephanie Prisco
Associate Digital Editor
Stephanie is a freshman in CAS and is from Bergen County, New Jersey.
Thomas Silver
Staff Writer
Tom is a freshman from the NYC area studying Linguistics in CAS. He likes maps.
Timothy Choi
Senior Multimedia Editor
Tim is from a cornfield just outside of Chicago, IL. His parents are disappointed in his Film and Television Major.
Vanessa Kjeldsen
Photo Staff
Vanessa Kjeldsen is a freshman from Texas studying Journalism. She is a glitter enthusiast and self-professed cat lady.
Varsha Subramanian
Pete's — BTS/Marketing Team
Vedin Kymal
Marketing Staff, Digital Copywriter
Vedin Kymal is a Junior, from New York, studying Film and Television.
Special Thanks To
Quinn Boyes (COM ‘13)
Martin Nolan (COM ‘13)
Jason Weitzman (COM ‘13)
Kevin Flynn (CAS ‘14)
Ian Blau (COM ‘15)
Jasper Craven (COM ‘15)
Marc Finn (COM ’16)
Grace Condon (COM ’18)
Karli Marulli (COM ’19)
Web Design By
Ethan Brown (COM/CAS ‘21)
Created By
Kevin Flynn (CAS ‘14)