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Politics

Politics

Yikes! Facebook Bots Made Your Aunt a White Supremacist

February 16, 2021 0

YOUR HOMETOWN — Your aunt, a middle-aged, middle-class woman from the suburbs, has recently become a full-on white supremacist due to some pesky Facebook bots.…

News

Joe Biden Wears Fake Pregnancy Belly To Show Commitment To Gender Equality

January 20, 2021 0

President-elect Joe Biden has committed to tackling important issues such as climate change, healthcare, and gender equality. Now, to further demonstrate his support for women’s…

News

Exposed! Here Are The Locations Of Mitch McConnell’s Horcruxes

November 27, 2020 0

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell just won another term! With over thirty-five years as a senator, our boy Mitch holds the record for longest Republican…

News

BREAKING: Old White Man Wins Election

November 6, 2020 0

The AP has confirmed that one of the 2020 presidential candidates, the old white man, has won the 2020 election. He narrowly beat out the…

News

Bernie Sanders is Sargent’s Choice, New Poll Reports

November 26, 2019 0

SARGENT — When we tell you that Bernie Sanders is the crunchiest presidential candidate there is, we aren’t kidding! From the start of the election…

News

Following Backlash, “Shen Bapiro” To Speak at BU

November 13, 2019 0

BU TRACK AND TENNIS CENTER— After more than a month of discourse and opposition from BU students, the Young Americans for Freedom group at Boston…

News

“You Are Failing Us,” Greta Thunberg Warns Student Occupying 6-Person GSU Booth

September 24, 2019 0

GSU—Reusable Starbucks cup in hand, teen activist Greta Thunberg confronted one student occupying an entire fucking booth in GSU during her recent visit to campus:…

Campus

BU “Free Speech Committee” Actually Not Free, Due To 3.4% Tuition Increase

February 12, 2019 0

OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT—In an effort to “affirm our commitment to freedom of expression on campus,” President Brown has created two new Free Speech Committees;…

City

Rhett’s to Cater Patriots’ White House Visit

February 3, 2019 0

WASHINGTON DC—Shortly after the New England Patriots won their NFL record-tying sixth Super Bowl on Sunday night, President Trump announced that BU’s very own Rhett’s…

News

BU On Broadway Takes Credit For Ocasio-Cortez’s Crimes

January 4, 2019 0

FACEBOOK—BU On Broadway, via press release, has confirmed to being the sole perpetrator behind the production and subsequent release of a viral video featuring 2018…

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