BAY STATE ROAD—From his brownstone in Bay State Road, delusional BU student Jacob Cassidy (CAS ‘20) just made a post on one of the Official Boston University Class Facebook groups, as if anybody is gonna look at it.

“Hey everyone,” Cassidy writes, referencing an imaginary audience of BU students that still check their class Facebook group even though there is literally no point of doing so at this point in the semester. “If you like having fun on the weekends, you should join the Expedition Club!”

The post goes on to mention Cassidy’s request of “checking out” his meager club’s upcoming event. The Facebook event currently lists three students as ‘going,’ while a pitiful fifteen students are just ‘interested’.

“Well, I’m a Facebook friend of Jacob’s so I got a notification as soon as he made the post,” said Ben Wilkinson (COM ‘20). “I just felt embarrassed for him. Like, I can only imagine how desperate he must be to make a post on the wasteland that is a BU Facebook group.”

At press time, Cassidy’s post has been buried by 3 class surveys, 5 different direct swap solicitations, and 20 posts about other BU club events. All of these posts currently stand at 0 likes and 0 comments.

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