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The Bunion
THE WEEKLY BUPDATE —- BREAKING: WARREN ESCALATORS —- STUDY: BU COULD SAVE MILLIONS BY SWITCHING TO SUSTAINABLE PRESIDENT ROBERT GREEN —- BLANKET SCARF SHORTAGE CATALYZES WHITE GIRL WALK OUT —- THIS TOILET HAS SEEN SOME SHIT
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Northeastern Paves Over BU, Says “It Was the Only Way to Become Boston’s Best Satire Publication”

August 10, 2020 0

NORTHEASTERN—In an effort to try to assert themselves over Boston College as BU’s rival, Northeastern’s satire publication, creatively named The Husky Husky, just broke news…

Campus

President Brown Releases Statement Regarding BU’s Online Courses: “HELLO CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK”

April 27, 2020 0

According to students, in regards to the Coronavirus that has required Boston University to transfer to an online platform, President Brown has reportedly sent out…

Campus

Extrovert Students to be Assigned a Support Introvert for Duration of Quarantine

April 16, 2020 0

SOMEWHERE THAT’S NOT BOSTON -- With the Boston University campus shut down for the semester, students have transitioned to doing their classwork at home. This…

Campus

MIT Students “Hack” Into BU Students’ Home Dining Halls

April 10, 2020 0

POSSIBLY YOUR HOUSE– MIT students have recently been found “hacking” into the homes of Boston University students all across the country, stealing countless home-cooked meals. …

Campus

SHS Diagnosis: Warren Towers Elevators Have Social Anxiety

April 8, 2020 0

STUDENT HEALTH SERVICES -- In light of recent criticisms, SHS has reportedly been in the process of making their mental health services more accessible to…

Campus

COM Student Skips Class After Bad CoStar Reading

April 7, 2020 0

CLAFLIN HALL– Jessica Moon (Libra, Aries rising) has decided to skip her COM 101 lecture after her morning CoStar check. CoStar is an app many…

Campus

Awkward! Freshman Walks In On Roommate Running Drug Cartel

April 6, 2020 0

WEST CAMPUS–Last semester, Wendy Lee (CGS '23) arrived at her double in Sleeper Hall only to be greeted by her roommate running a multi-million drug…

Campus

New Terrier Black Card Issued to Students Paying Full Tuition

April 3, 2020 0

GEORGE SHERMAN UNION – The Terrier Card Office announced today that, starting Fall 2020, it will be offering luxury Terrier Black cards to students receiving…

Campus

BU Icebreaker Reveals Dark Past for One Student

April 2, 2020 0

COLLEGE OF GENERAL STUDIES– The classic icebreaker, “two truths and a lie” forced upon students from BU faculty as an “entertaining get-to-know-you game” became a…

Campus

The Bunion Has Given Back The Daily Free Press in Exchange for Toilet Paper

April 1, 2020 0

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: After announcing Wednesday morning that they had purchased The Daily Free Press, The Bunion has announced Wednesday night that control of The…

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Recent Posts

  • Northeastern Paves Over BU, Says “It Was the Only Way to Become Boston’s Best Satire Publication” August 10, 2020
  • New Frat House Rules In The Time Of Corona August 8, 2020
  • Followup on Guidance for CAS Professors to Reassure Students of an Amazing and Not-At-All-Imperfect Fall Semester August 4, 2020
  • How To Keep Your Boyfriend Trapped Even After Quarantine Ends May 23, 2020
  • A Tribute: 50k Tuition In The Wind April 30, 2020
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