After announcing Wednesday morning that they had purchased The Daily Free Press, The Bunion has announced Wednesday night that control of The Daily Free Press will be relinquished back to its former owners.

The Daily Free Press, Boston University’s independent newspaper, will once again be an autonomous publication. In return, The Bunion received a sum of material goods.

“We traded the FreeP back for five rolls of toilet paper,” said Tim Choi, Editor-In-Chief of The Bunion. “We know a free and independent press is an essential part of a democracy, and that it fills a crucial role in our society, but unfortunately, none of us at The Bunion have the time, patience, or talent for that.”

“Plus, personally,” Choi added, “we could really use the toilet paper a lot more than any attempt at ethical journalism right now.”

The Daily Free Press will continue its Monday through Friday digital publication, and Daily Free Press staff are asked to refrain from emailing The Bunion about their terminated jobs. Take that up with your own bosses.

The staff of The Bunion are asked to please stop being serious. Seriously. Stop.

About The Bunion: The Bunion will go back to being a satire news publication for the Boston University community created by Kevin Flynn on September 6th, 2012. The Bunion will always be meant for entertainment purposes only. All sources and quotes are fabricated. Thank God.

About The Daily Free Press: The Daily Free Press, the independent student newspaper at Boston University, is published digitally Monday through Friday and printed on Thursdays during the academic year except during vacation and exam periods, as well as when there aren’t ads to help cover the cost of printing. They write actual important news, and the BU community is better off for it. The service they do is truly priceless, but please consider making a one-time or recurring donation to The Daily Free Press via PayPal here.

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