By: Amber Born (CAS ‘21), Ethan Brown (COM/CAS ‘21), Tim Choi (COM ‘22), Caitlin Flannery (CAS ‘20), Kai Hellberg (COM ‘20), Frank Hernandez (COM ‘20), Jake Kaplow (CGS ‘19, CAS ‘21), Maddy Mermelstein (COM ‘20), Maddy Schmidt (COM ‘21), Serra Tekce (SAR ‘21), Layla Wickwire (COM ‘20)

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  • 0

  • 0-36
    BU Men’s Hockey’s record once Trump’s immigration policy hits Canada.
  • 5

  • 57 Bus
    The bus you realize isn’t the BU bus after you sprint half a block to catch up to it
  • 575 Commonwealth
    Just call it HoJo, you freak
  • 8

  • 802.1x
    (1) the BU wifi (2) the number of times it will stop working per week. 60% of the time, it stops working every time.
  • 1

  • 1019 Commonwealth
    The only West Campus residence not on West Campus
  • a

  • AF
    (acronym) At FitRec
  • Agganis Arena
    Where you go to cancel your Sports Pass.
  • Air Conditioning
    A holy MacGuffin, only available to a select few
  • AlcoholEDU
    The second-most ignored college, after Metropolitan College. Causes almost as much alcoholism as Allston.
  • Allston
    A Hooverville for alcoholics instead of the unemployed
  • b

    A pronunciation of Boston that only exists on SNL skits and off brand hoodies
  • Bae State
    A bae that won’t cheat on you and let you down constantly, PATRICK
  • Banana
    Curved yellow cafeteria decorations
  • Basho
    Where to go if you need to get food poisoning to get out of an exam
  • Beacon Street
    Manifest Destiny for off campus housing
  • Berklee
    The Tisch of Boston
  • Bertucci’s
    See: Bruegger’s Bagels
  • Blandford Steps
    The steps are taller than you are
  • Blandford Street
    A portal where time stops and the T slows to 1 mile per hour
  • Blaze Pizza
    The pizza place you go to when you’re sober
  • Blue Line
    If I was lonely and unused, I’d be blue, too.
  • Bofa
    Deez nuts
  • Booth Theater
    Tired of reasonably laid out theaters with main atriums? Come check out a this collection of inconvenient, tiny balconies instead!
  • Boston
    A city so aggressive, the only movies set in it are crime films
  • Boston College
    It’s kinda like Boston University, except it’s not in Boston and it’s not a university and it’s bad
  • Boston Common
    Where the first Witch was hanged
  • Boston Public Library
    A study lounge that really makes you work for it
  • Boston University
    White guilt culture, white man tuition
  • Bostonian
    A fickle creature, only interested in iced coffee and the Transformers franchise
  • Brighton
    Whoa, settle down there partner. You already passed Allston.
  • Brookline
    A suburb with the BU tuition of living costs
  • Brownstones
    A lightly toasted Whitestone
  • Bruegger’s Bagels
    RIP in piece
  • BU Alert
    hi, it’s me. I haven’t heard from you in 3 minutes. Are you okay? I miss you. Are you ignoring me? Do you still love me? I feel like you don’t care about me as much as you used to. Are you getting my texts? Did you block me? I tried to call and you didn’t pick up. Is this over? Are we breaking up? Can I have my t-shirt back? Actually, no, you keep it, I want you to remember me. I hate you. I still love you. Please take me back baby, I promise I can be different. I won’t text you every three seconds. Okay, baby? Babe? Are you there? Pick up, I’m trying to talk to you.
  • BU Beach
    The last time people were this stressed out on a beach, the Allies were invading Normandy
  • BU Bookstore
    Set to 350 degrees and bake indefinitely.
  • BU Bridge
    The no-man’s land that filters out the weak on their trek from West Campus
  • BU Bulletin
    The only advertising platform that needs to be advertised on other advertising platforms
  • BU C+
    See Harvard A.
  • BU Central
    The former home base of entertainment before everything was cancelled in an effort to create a home base for entertainment
  • BU East
    The cream of the crop, the home of champions
  • BU Hub
    I don’t know what it is, but it sucks and I hate it
  • BU IT
    Will bite off your arm from the sewer
  • BU Memes for Normy Teens
    The best idea to come out of Berkeley except the Alice Waters Chez Panisse cookbook.
  • BU Today
    The ONLY reputable news source at BU
  • BU West
    Inconveniently located, for your convenience
  • BUOB
    (1) The cult with so many people, it puts you at least two degrees away from anyone else on campus (2) Nickname for Ruobert.
  • BUOverheard
    101 ways to say “kill me”
  • BUPD
    The only people allowed inside frat parties without a good ratio
  • BUS
    A mythical form of transportation. The likelihood of its existence is approximately equal to Bigfoot riding the Loch Ness Monster
  • BUsband
    Either the BU equivalent of your work husband, your actual husband you met at BU, or that hot guy in StuVi who doesn’t know you exist.
  • BUTV10
    The only channel with less viewers than your stint as a YouTuber in fourth grade.
  • c

  • Cambridge
    I’m pretty sure Facebook sold my data to these guys
  • CAS Focus
    The reason your GPA is so low right now
  • Caught Rhett-handed
    You thought your eight-person function in your Claflin Hall single was gonna work till you heard that knock at your door, followed by “RA on-call.”
  • Charles River
    A body of water made up of students’ tears
  • Charles River Bread Co
    Wait time: 420 minutes
  • Cheeseology
    The place your lactose intolerant friend is willing to get sick for
  • Chemistry 101
    It doesn’t just want you to fail, it wants you to drop out
  • Chestnut Hill University
    A very well-named place that is not in Boston and not a college.
  • Chipotle
    (1) Now closing at 3pm (2) Ecoli’s not that bad guys
  • CityCo
    More like SHITTYCO
  • Claflin Hall
    The third Jonas Brother of the West Campus residences
  • Co-op
    “I kinda like BU, but I reeeaaally like Northeastern”
  • College of Arts and Sciences
    If Wonder Bread was a school
  • College of Communication
    Somehow the school with the most antisocial people
  • College of Engineering
    When finding a girlfriend is too hard so you have to build one
  • College of Fine Arts
    An NYU Tisch fan club
  • College of General Studies
    Me me big boy me go to london for first smester heehee
  • COM Lawn
    The background of baby’s first LinkedIn profile
  • Commonwealth Avenue
    Jaywalking central
  • Condom Fairy
    She takes away your condoms and leaves a dollar
  • Connecticut
    A white rich cult.
  • Copper Kettle Soups
    When you want dining hall soup, but you’re tired on not paying for it
  • Cranberry Farms
    Thanksgiving all year-round. You definitely will not get sick of it.
  • CVS
    The tutorial level for your fake ID. If you can fool an underpaid cashier to believe you’re over 18 to buy medicine, you can fool anybody.
  • d

  • Daily Free Press
    (1) Inflating reach numbers and misquoting pedestrians since 1970. (2) Join your freshman year, leave your freshman year
  • Danielsen
    An off campus trek with on campus pricing
  • Darty
    (adjective) how to cross the BU bridge without getting hit by a car
  • Despair
    noun. See: fire alarm.
  • Digication
    I don’t know what it is, but I’m definitely supposed to be doing it.
  • Domino’s Menu that mysteriously showed up in your room
    Wait what, how did that get there?
  • Dual Degree
    Eating at one dining hall, getting hungry again, and then having to use a guest swipe to get into another dining hall
  • Dunkin
    Deez nuts
  • e

  • Early Decision
    “There’s no way I should have gotten into this school”
  • Earth House
    A cutting edge, innovative hippie commune
  • Einstein Bagels
    Yeah, it’s called a bagel, Einstein.
  • Elevator
    Elevator? I barely know her!
  • Emergency Facilities
    Nicest people on Earth 10/10
  • Emerson College
    Septum piercing
  • Emmanuel College
    The name of the school your Bumble match goes to
  • f

  • Fake news
    Any “important” mail that gets shoved under your door
  • Fall Semester
  • Fam
    A group of COM friends (origin: Failures at math)
  • Family and Friends Weekend
    Difficult for international students
  • Fenway
    Home to a biweekly Red Sox festival
  • Fenway Campus
    Robert Brown’s Puerto Rico
  • Fenway Park
    What you have to walk by to get to Tasty Burger
  • Finals Week
    Christmas weekend for ramen manufacturers and therapists
  • Fire Alarm
    The only thing you can rely on in Warren Towers.
  • FitRec
    The place your athletic friends go to literally flex on people
  • FOMO
    (acronym) Fear Of Missing Omelets Sentence: I got to the dining hall at 10:55 this morning and I had so much FOMO
  • Fraternity
    See: Connecticut.
    Nobody knows what this stands for. Full year student outing program? First years stupidly over-pack? Fuck your society, Officer Perkins?
  • g

  • Giving Day
    Yet another day when the University tries to take our money
  • GOAT
    (acronym) GPA Over A Two, aka you aren’t on academic probation, which is basically an A
  • Graduate College of Arts and Sciences
    Spending more money for a vanilla career
  • Green Line
    Basically a real-life game of Frogger, but if you lose, you wake up in the hospital like in Grand Theft Auto V.
  • Green Space
    Green spaces are a type of space that commonly appears in the Card Party mode of Mario Party 5. However, unlike every other space in the Mario Party series, no event is triggered when the Green Space is landed on; the player’s turn will simply end and the next player’s turn begins.
  • GSU
    Good Sushi University
  • GSU Back Court
    If you close your eyes here and fall asleep, your soul will pass on.
  • GSU Piano
    They won’t fix the goddamn sustain pedal and it tears me up inside
  • h

  • Harvard
    The home of all your Tinder matches
  • Harvard A
    See BU C+.
  • Henry M Goldman School of Dental Medicine
    If you’re a Questrom student and don’t get a job, come here and say you’re in at Goldman!
  • Hotel Commonwealth
    Official hotel of the Boston Red Socks
  • Howard Thurman Center for Common Ground
    A place to discuss all viewpoints, no matter how liberal
  • i

  • Insomnia
    The loss of sleep due to a massive sugar high from a giant box of cookies
  • Internship
    COM kids’ crack.
  • It’s lit
    What nerds say when they’re studying in Mugar at 11 PM on a Friday
  • k

  • Kenmore Square
    See: Gentrification
  • Khakis
    How a Bostonian unlocks their car
  • Kilachand
    Our all-provider. The blessed being who plays Monopoly with our institution.
  • Kilachand Hall
    A lot of RA’s. Best place to break out the Ouija Board.
  • Kilachand Honors College
    Selling your soul for a stamp on your diploma
  • l

  • Law Auditorium
    Missed opportunity to call it the Lawditorium, just saying.
  • Law Library
    Where you go for a nice study session only to be yelled at by law students for existing
  • LGTB
    Let’s Get This Banana
  • Lobster Night
    Only fun once
  • Loose Leafs Salads
    Where you go instead of FitRec to make yourself feel better about not going to FitRec
  • Lyft
    Replacing the “i” with a “y” is a largely meaningless decision, but if you ever see this logo, you’ll be too drunk to care
  • m

  • Maine
    A strange Lovecraftian pocket dimension populated by lobster people
  • Major
    That thing you put on your social media descriptions right in between your name and your Myers Briggs personality type
  • Marciano Commons
    The best of the worst
  • Marmon
    see: AlcoholEDU
  • Marsh Chapel
    you need Jesus
  • Marsh Plaza
    Uber’s favorite destination
  • Massachusetts Institute of Technology
    That one school who can’t have frat houses in their campus so they have to make them in ours
  • MBTA
    Miserable Bus to Allston
  • Med Campus
    The only building in BU that looks like an actual college campus and not a highway with dormitories on it
  • Metropolitan College
    Looks like CAS but it’s not. Only people who go inside are lost freshman
  • Midterms
    The elections that no one pays attention to
  • Minor
    Minor? I hardly even know her!
  • Mongolian Grill
    Grill from Mongolia
  • Monopoly Man
    see: President Brown
  • Morse Auditorium
    - .... . -.-- / --- -. .-.. -.-- / ... .--. . .- -.- / .. -. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. .
  • Museum of Fine Arts
    Since free admission to students didn’t work, the MFA will now be paying students $15 to come
  • Mustache
    (verb) to overcharge for something Sentence: That pizza was $30? I totally got mustached.
  • Myles Standish
    New and IMPROVED.
  • n

  • New Hampshire
    The south of the north
  • New York
    The state with your first choice university, but not Cornell
  • No Nut November
    We stand with you, nut allergic people
  • Noodle Street
    The street between Panda Express and BASHO
  • Northeastern University
    BU plus co-ops minus terriers and an actual education
  • NYU
    That place all the CFA kids got rejected from
  • o

  • Omelette
    (1) moist moist moist moist moist moist moist moist moist moist (2) Scrambled eggs with some charred cheese to hold it together
  • Orange Line
    Headin’ to Downtown Crossing Baby
  • Otto
    Sentence: I have an Otto Immune Disease
  • p

  • Panda Express
    All the express without the Panda
  • Pardee School of Global Studies
    Who said BU isn’t a pardee school? Sentence: Yeah, man, I totally go to a pardee school.
  • Parking
    For rich students and Red Sox games only
  • Party
    Where you cry to the Chainsmokers in a dark, tropical climate.
  • Pavement
    Totally a small local business guys
  • PB&K
    (1) a peanut butter and Kraft single sandwich, which is what happens when you run out of dining points. (2) President Brown and Kenneth Elmore, an alliance more unlikely than any animal friendship video you’ve ever seen.
  • Pinkberry
    Did you know we have one?
  • Pre-Law
    Doesn’t exist
  • Pre-Med
    the academic track for those that have a deep hatred for life, happiness, themselves, their friends, sleep, happiness,
  • President Brown
    see: Monopoly Man
  • Presidential Scholarship
    if you got this you’re still paying too much money to be here
  • Primark
    Any product with an SOS message sewn into it is 50% off
  • Provost
    More like pro-chump.
  • Prudential Center
    Cheesecake Factory and other stuff I think
  • Pumpkin Drop
    When your chubby friend falls down
  • q

  • Quality Mart
    Officials Seized 112 Fake IDs at One Back Bay Store Over St. Patrick’s Day Weekend.
  • Questrom School of Business
    A school populated by bad guys from The Purge movies
  • r

  • RealBunionPaper
    The FAILING @RealBunionPaper is a FAKE Twitter account that nobody reads. Total disaster. SAD.
  • Red
    (1) The blood of angry men (2) A world about to dawn (3) I feel my soul on fire (4) It’s the color of desire
  • Red Line
    Concert venue for the guy with the two string violin
  • Red Sox
    What happens when you step on a lego and it stabs your foot.
  • Registration
    BU’s very own battle royale
  • Rhett
    The dog, the myth, the legend.
  • Rhett head
    A pointless endeavor, gentlemen prefer blondes.
  • Rhettainer
    What President Brown calls his salary.
  • Rhettaliation
    When the Patriots get angry that BU Football has been undefeated longer than them.
  • Rhettalicious
    The opposite of the food served at the Fresh Food Co.
  • Rhettalin
    Get your supply before finals-week prices kick in, or better yet, contact your friend with ADHD to get an extra-large prescrip for you.
  • Rhettention
    the matriculation ceremony
  • Rhettina
    The Apple screen display BU would put in the libraries if they actually spent some of its goddamn endowment money.
  • Rhettiquette
    What Questrom snake must remember before playing golf at The Country Club at Brookline with their professor.
  • Rhettirement
    A smart next step for President Brown.
  • Rhettoric
    The rhettiest CGS writing course.
  • Rhettort
  • Rhettrace your footsteps
    Having to walk the length of Comm Ave because you got too high when you popped out for a puff and lost your ID
  • Rhettract
    What one does when you accidentally call West “second best”
  • Rhettractable
    The roof on Agganis Arena once Massachusetts’ marijuana laws kick in.
  • Rhettribution
    When BU college republicans invite Jordan Peterson to speak on campus.
  • Rhettrieval
    When a BU student procures a bottle of the finest GHB in Massachusetts.
  • Rhettroactive
    Changing your major once you realize majoring in 20th Century Atonal Panflute Music won’t make any money.
  • Rhettrospective
    When a BU student looks back on their choice to take 12 shots of tequila with regrhett.
  • Rhett’s
    The restaurant you have to eat at because everything else at the GSU closes early
  • Rhetturn
    The long walk to Myles following the Allston crawl
  • Rhetturn of the Jedi
    an FT201 masterpiece
  • Rhetty
    What one says before they experience BDSM with a fellow BU student for the first time.
  • Rhode Island
    Home of the worst drivers in the country.
  • Rich Hall
    The only West Campus dormitory not attached to the dining hall, because God hates you just a little bit more than the other two
  • s

  • Saint Mary’s Street
    Wife of Saint Paul.
  • Saint Paul’s Street
    BUsband of St. Mary
  • Sargent College of Health and Rehabilitation Sciences
    The only building on campus that requires baby strollers instead of IDs in order to enter
  • Sargent’s Choice
    Nobody’s first choice. Sentence: My crush turned me down, so I’m going out with my Sargent’s Choice.
  • School of Education
    An extinct school who suffered from its natural predator: Wheelock College of Education and Human Development
  • School of Hospitality Administration
    School of Former Questrom Students. See: Questrom School of Business
  • School of Law
    Those stingy bitches never let us in their library. Court adjourned. Adjourned.
  • School of Medicine
    Crime capital of Boston
  • School of Public Health
    More like School of PUBIC Health.
  • School of Social Work
    “Do we have a School of Social Work? Is it a grad school?”
  • School of Theology
    Where you learn about God (aka President Brown) Sentence: The Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Junior was a notable alumnus of the prestigious Boston University School of Theology.
  • SCI 109
    Every STEM majors real life haunted house
  • Scoozi
    Scooz me
  • Shotgun Mic
    (1) a microphone commonly utilized by film students (2) a scary name for a guy named Mic
  • SHS
    acronym, meaning unknown
  • Silver Line
    How you get to the airport during break
  • Sleeper Hall
    The only residence with a death penalty-enforced bedtime
  • Snake
    see: Questrom School of Business
  • Sorority
    See: Connecticut
  • South Campus
    My god there’s so much weed here. Why did you choose to live in StuVi? You can’t even open the windows for fuck’s sake.
  • Splash
    Come here to get over ~stimulated~.
  • Spring
    Two days at the end of April.
  • Spring Semester
    Marathon Monday.
  • Star Market
    Market down baby, I’m gonna be a star
  • Starbucks
    When you’re too fancy for Dunkin
  • State House
    Outback State House is an Australian-themed American casual dining restaurant chain
  • Student Link
    Yeah, the class you want is taken. Enjoy your World Religions requirement.
  • Study Abroad
    “Nothing will ever compare to my semester in Europe. You wouldn’t understand. I am literally made of croissants. I am the epitome of cultured.”
  • Study Period
    When the protective lining of Comm Ave sheds itself
  • StuVi
    The only residence that includes pots of molten lead used to fend off peasant attackers
  • StuVi2
    The only sequel better than the original
  • StuVi3
    Some call this Harvard
  • Suffolk
    That’s all, suffolks!
  • Sunset Cantina
    The training level for your fake IDs
  • t

  • T. Anthony’s
    A drunk student’s favorite spot. Live or die for that Mozz Pizza.
  • Takin it to the Streets
    When you physically fight a GSU worker
  • Tatte
    The sandwiches are so good you can’t even pronounce the name of the restaurant.
  • Teaching Assistant
    Who you tryna boof (for a better grade).
  • Teaching Fellow
    The hot PhD candidate that’s trying to fail you out of college
  • Telefund BU
    Ayo, did u want to give your University, which already acquired a significant portion of your money, some more money? You know you want to.
  • Terrier
    Terrier? I hardly even know her!
  • Terrier Snapchat Takeover
    Where the cool kids go to feel validated
  • The 250-330
    a lifehack to help you gain the freshman 15 every year.
  • The Bunion
    The Lampoon, but they hire minorities
  • The Office
    Every ENG student’s favorite show
  • The Seal
    (1) You can look at them outside the aquarium (2) If you step on them you die
  • The Tab BU
    The BuzzFeed of BU news
  • The Towers
    Why the fuck do I have to walk to Towers, just so I can get my packages? Like what’s the point of having a mailbox in my dorm if I can only get letters through there?
  • Tinder University
    The option you pick before you get desperate and increase your age range by ten years
  • Tour Guide
    “I will face God and walk backwards into Hell”
  • u

  • Uber
    Uber? I barely know her!
  • UMass Boston
    That school everyone in Massachusetts applied to, because why not
  • University
    College, but it’s harder to spell
  • v

  • Vermont
    Ben and Jerry’s
  • w

  • Waffle Iron
    Sentence: Yeech! What is that awful noise? Oh—my waffle’s done!
  • Wahlburgering
    Ordering food from Wahlburgers.
  • Warren Dining Hall
    The best nightclub in town
  • Warren Towers
    the second-largest non-military dorm in the country, and the second-most on-fire building in the country
  • Wentworth Institute of Technology
    80% males, 100% catcalling you
  • West
    A direction on the compass. That is all. Sentence: We need to travel east, because west is not best.
  • WGBH
    We Got (This) Bread, Homie
  • Wheelock College of Education and Human Development
    We actually don’t know what this is. We heard someone may have seen this one time but we have no real witnesses.
  • Wheelock Library
    You should not go here with a fox. You should not go here in a box. You should not go here on a train. You should not go here on a plane. You should not go here in a suit. You should not go here with a boot. You should not go here eating candy. You should not go here drinking brandy. You should not go here to look a book up. You should only go here for a hook-up.
  • Whitestones
    What happens when you gentrify the Brownstones
  • Writing-100
    Salutations, I am fully literate. Watch me read.
  • Writing-150
    teh randumb xD *le holds up spork* epic bacon time
  • WTBU
    The only thing that is listened to less frequently than the audiobook for “In Trump We Trust” by Ann Coulter (except for The Blunder Years, which everybody on campus listens to)
  • y

  • Yawkey Center for Student Services
    see: Fresh Food Co. at Marciano Commons
  • Yeet
    Yes except every time