BU Men’s Hockey’s record once Trump’s immigration policy hits Canada.

The bus you realize isn’t the BU bus after you sprint half a block to catch up to it

Just call it HoJo, you freak

(1) the BU wifi (2) the number of times it will stop working per week. 60% of the time, it stops working every time.

The only West Campus residence not on West Campus

(acronym) At FitRec

Where you go to cancel your Sports Pass.

A holy MacGuffin, only available to a select few

The second-most ignored college, after Metropolitan College. Causes almost as much alcoholism as Allston.

A Hooverville for alcoholics instead of the unemployed

A pronunciation of Boston that only exists on SNL skits and off brand hoodies

A bae that won’t cheat on you and let you down constantly, PATRICK

Curved yellow cafeteria decorations

Where to go if you need to get food poisoning to get out of an exam

Manifest Destiny for off campus housing

The Tisch of Boston

See: Bruegger’s Bagels

The steps are taller than you are

A portal where time stops and the T slows to 1 mile per hour

The pizza place you go to when you’re sober

If I was lonely and unused, I’d be blue, too.

Deez nuts

Tired of reasonably laid out theaters with main atriums? Come check out a this collection of inconvenient, tiny balconies instead!

A city so aggressive, the only movies set in it are crime films

It’s kinda like Boston University, except it’s not in Boston and it’s not a university and it’s bad

Where the first Witch was hanged

A study lounge that really makes you work for it

White guilt culture, white man tuition

A fickle creature, only interested in iced coffee and the Transformers franchise

Whoa, settle down there partner. You already passed Allston.

A suburb with the BU tuition of living costs

A lightly toasted Whitestone

RIP in piece

hi, it’s me. I haven’t heard from you in 3 minutes. Are you okay? I miss you. Are you ignoring me? Do you still love me? I feel like you don’t care about me as much as you used to. Are you getting my texts? Did you block me? I tried to call and you didn’t pick up. Is this over? Are we breaking up? Can I have my t-shirt back? Actually, no, you keep it, I want you to remember me. I hate you. I still love you. Please take me back baby, I promise I can be different. I won’t text you every three seconds. Okay, baby? Babe? Are you there? Pick up, I’m trying to talk to you.

The last time people were this stressed out on a beach, the Allies were invading Normandy

Set to 350 degrees and bake indefinitely.

The no-man’s land that filters out the weak on their trek from West Campus

The only advertising platform that needs to be advertised on other advertising platforms

See Harvard A.

The former home base of entertainment before everything was cancelled in an effort to create a home base for entertainment

The cream of the crop, the home of champions

I don’t know what it is, but it sucks and I hate it

Will bite off your arm from the sewer

The best idea to come out of Berkeley except the Alice Waters Chez Panisse cookbook.

The ONLY reputable news source at BU

Inconveniently located, for your convenience

(1) The cult with so many people, it puts you at least two degrees away from anyone else on campus (2) Nickname for Ruobert.

101 ways to say “kill me”

The only people allowed inside frat parties without a good ratio

A mythical form of transportation. The likelihood of its existence is approximately equal to Bigfoot riding the Loch Ness Monster

Either the BU equivalent of your work husband, your actual husband you met at BU, or that hot guy in StuVi who doesn’t know you exist.

The only channel with less viewers than your stint as a YouTuber in fourth grade.

I’m pretty sure Facebook sold my data to these guys

The reason your GPA is so low right now

You thought your eight-person function in your Claflin Hall single was gonna work till you heard that knock at your door, followed by “RA on-call.”

A body of water made up of students’ tears

Wait time: 420 minutes

The place your lactose intolerant friend is willing to get sick for

It doesn’t just want you to fail, it wants you to drop out

A very well-named place that is not in Boston and not a college.

(1) Now closing at 3pm (2) Ecoli’s not that bad guys

More like SHITTYCO

The third Jonas Brother of the West Campus residences

“I kinda like BU, but I reeeaaally like Northeastern”

If Wonder Bread was a school

Somehow the school with the most antisocial people

When finding a girlfriend is too hard so you have to build one

An NYU Tisch fan club

Me me big boy me go to london for first smester heehee

The background of baby’s first LinkedIn profile

Jaywalking central

She takes away your condoms and leaves a dollar

A white rich cult.

When you want dining hall soup, but you’re tired on not paying for it

Thanksgiving all year-round. You definitely will not get sick of it.

The tutorial level for your fake ID. If you can fool an underpaid cashier to believe you’re over 18 to buy medicine, you can fool anybody.

(1) Inflating reach numbers and misquoting pedestrians since 1970. (2) Join your freshman year, leave your freshman year

An off campus trek with on campus pricing

(adjective) how to cross the BU bridge without getting hit by a car

noun. See: fire alarm.

I don’t know what it is, but I’m definitely supposed to be doing it.

Wait what, how did that get there?

Eating at one dining hall, getting hungry again, and then having to use a guest swipe to get into another dining hall

Deez nuts

“There’s no way I should have gotten into this school”

A cutting edge, innovative hippie commune

Yeah, it’s called a bagel, Einstein.

Elevator? I barely know her!

Nicest people on Earth 10/10

Septum piercing

The name of the school your Bumble match goes to

Any “important” mail that gets shoved under your door

Depression.

A group of COM friends (origin: Failures at math)

Difficult for international students

Home to a biweekly Red Sox festival

Robert Brown’s Puerto Rico

What you have to walk by to get to Tasty Burger

Christmas weekend for ramen manufacturers and therapists

The only thing you can rely on in Warren Towers.

The place your athletic friends go to literally flex on people

(acronym) Fear Of Missing Omelets Sentence: I got to the dining hall at 10:55 this morning and I had so much FOMO

See: Connecticut.

Nobody knows what this stands for. Full year student outing program? First years stupidly over-pack? Fuck your society, Officer Perkins?

Yet another day when the University tries to take our money

(acronym) GPA Over A Two, aka you aren’t on academic probation, which is basically an A

Spending more money for a vanilla career

Basically a real-life game of Frogger, but if you lose, you wake up in the hospital like in Grand Theft Auto V.

Good Sushi University

If you close your eyes here and fall asleep, your soul will pass on.

They won’t fix the goddamn sustain pedal and it tears me up inside

The home of all your Tinder matches

See BU C+.

If you’re a Questrom student and don’t get a job, come here and say you’re in at Goldman!

Official hotel of the Boston Red Socks

A place to discuss all viewpoints, no matter how liberal

The loss of sleep due to a massive sugar high from a giant box of cookies

COM kids’ crack.

What nerds say when they’re studying in Mugar at 11 PM on a Friday

See: Gentrification

How a Bostonian unlocks their car

Our all-provider. The blessed being who plays Monopoly with our institution.

A lot of RA’s. Best place to break out the Ouija Board.

Selling your soul for a stamp on your diploma

Missed opportunity to call it the Lawditorium, just saying.

Where you go for a nice study session only to be yelled at by law students for existing

Let’s Get This Banana

Only fun once

Where you go instead of FitRec to make yourself feel better about not going to FitRec

Replacing the “i” with a “y” is a largely meaningless decision, but if you ever see this logo, you’ll be too drunk to care

A strange Lovecraftian pocket dimension populated by lobster people

That thing you put on your social media descriptions right in between your name and your Myers Briggs personality type

The best of the worst

see: AlcoholEDU

you need Jesus

Uber’s favorite destination

That one school who can’t have frat houses in their campus so they have to make them in ours

Miserable Bus to Allston

The only building in BU that looks like an actual college campus and not a highway with dormitories on it

Looks like CAS but it’s not. Only people who go inside are lost freshman

The elections that no one pays attention to

Minor? I hardly even know her!

Grill from Mongolia

see: President Brown

- .... . -.-- / --- -. .-.. -.-- / ... .--. . .- -.- / .. -. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. .

Since free admission to students didn’t work, the MFA will now be paying students $15 to come

(verb) to overcharge for something Sentence: That pizza was $30? I totally got mustached.

New and IMPROVED.

The south of the north

The state with your first choice university, but not Cornell

We stand with you, nut allergic people

The street between Panda Express and BASHO

BU plus co-ops minus terriers and an actual education

That place all the CFA kids got rejected from

(1) moist moist moist moist moist moist moist moist moist moist (2) Scrambled eggs with some charred cheese to hold it together

Headin’ to Downtown Crossing Baby

Sentence: I have an Otto Immune Disease

All the express without the Panda

Who said BU isn’t a pardee school? Sentence: Yeah, man, I totally go to a pardee school.

For rich students and Red Sox games only

Where you cry to the Chainsmokers in a dark, tropical climate.

Totally a small local business guys

(1) a peanut butter and Kraft single sandwich, which is what happens when you run out of dining points. (2) President Brown and Kenneth Elmore, an alliance more unlikely than any animal friendship video you’ve ever seen.

Did you know we have one?

Doesn’t exist

the academic track for those that have a deep hatred for life, happiness, themselves, their friends, sleep, happiness,

see: Monopoly Man

if you got this you’re still paying too much money to be here

Any product with an SOS message sewn into it is 50% off

More like pro-chump.

Cheesecake Factory and other stuff I think

When your chubby friend falls down

Officials Seized 112 Fake IDs at One Back Bay Store Over St. Patrick’s Day Weekend.

A school populated by bad guys from The Purge movies

The FAILING @RealBunionPaper is a FAKE Twitter account that nobody reads. Total disaster. SAD.

(1) The blood of angry men (2) A world about to dawn (3) I feel my soul on fire (4) It’s the color of desire

Concert venue for the guy with the two string violin

What happens when you step on a lego and it stabs your foot.

BU’s very own battle royale

The dog, the myth, the legend.

A pointless endeavor, gentlemen prefer blondes.

What President Brown calls his salary.

When the Patriots get angry that BU Football has been undefeated longer than them.

The opposite of the food served at the Fresh Food Co.

Get your supply before finals-week prices kick in, or better yet, contact your friend with ADHD to get an extra-large prescrip for you.

the matriculation ceremony

The Apple screen display BU would put in the libraries if they actually spent some of its goddamn endowment money.

What Questrom snake must remember before playing golf at The Country Club at Brookline with their professor.

A smart next step for President Brown.

The rhettiest CGS writing course.

www.twitter.com/AOC

Having to walk the length of Comm Ave because you got too high when you popped out for a puff and lost your ID

What one does when you accidentally call West “second best”

The roof on Agganis Arena once Massachusetts’ marijuana laws kick in.

When BU college republicans invite Jordan Peterson to speak on campus.

When a BU student procures a bottle of the finest GHB in Massachusetts.

Changing your major once you realize majoring in 20th Century Atonal Panflute Music won’t make any money.

When a BU student looks back on their choice to take 12 shots of tequila with regrhett.

The restaurant you have to eat at because everything else at the GSU closes early

The long walk to Myles following the Allston crawl

an FT201 masterpiece

What one says before they experience BDSM with a fellow BU student for the first time.

Home of the worst drivers in the country.

The only West Campus dormitory not attached to the dining hall, because God hates you just a little bit more than the other two

Wife of Saint Paul.

BUsband of St. Mary

The only building on campus that requires baby strollers instead of IDs in order to enter

Nobody’s first choice. Sentence: My crush turned me down, so I’m going out with my Sargent’s Choice.

An extinct school who suffered from its natural predator: Wheelock College of Education and Human Development

School of Former Questrom Students. See: Questrom School of Business

Those stingy bitches never let us in their library. Court adjourned. Adjourned.

Crime capital of Boston

More like School of PUBIC Health.

“Do we have a School of Social Work? Is it a grad school?”

Where you learn about God (aka President Brown) Sentence: The Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Junior was a notable alumnus of the prestigious Boston University School of Theology.

Every STEM majors real life haunted house

Scooz me

(1) a microphone commonly utilized by film students (2) a scary name for a guy named Mic

acronym, meaning unknown

How you get to the airport during break

The only residence with a death penalty-enforced bedtime

see: Questrom School of Business

See: Connecticut

My god there’s so much weed here. Why did you choose to live in StuVi? You can’t even open the windows for fuck’s sake.

Come here to get over ~stimulated~.

Two days at the end of April.

Marathon Monday.

Market down baby, I’m gonna be a star

When you’re too fancy for Dunkin

Outback State House is an Australian-themed American casual dining restaurant chain

Yeah, the class you want is taken. Enjoy your World Religions requirement.

“Nothing will ever compare to my semester in Europe. You wouldn’t understand. I am literally made of croissants. I am the epitome of cultured.”

When the protective lining of Comm Ave sheds itself

The only residence that includes pots of molten lead used to fend off peasant attackers

The only sequel better than the original

Some call this Harvard

That’s all, suffolks!

The training level for your fake IDs

A drunk student’s favorite spot. Live or die for that Mozz Pizza.

When you physically fight a GSU worker

The sandwiches are so good you can’t even pronounce the name of the restaurant.

Who you tryna boof (for a better grade).

The hot PhD candidate that’s trying to fail you out of college

Ayo, did u want to give your University, which already acquired a significant portion of your money, some more money? You know you want to.

Terrier? I hardly even know her!

Where the cool kids go to feel validated

a lifehack to help you gain the freshman 15 every year.

The Lampoon, but they hire minorities

Every ENG student’s favorite show

(1) You can look at them outside the aquarium (2) If you step on them you die

The BuzzFeed of BU news

Why the fuck do I have to walk to Towers, just so I can get my packages? Like what’s the point of having a mailbox in my dorm if I can only get letters through there?

The option you pick before you get desperate and increase your age range by ten years

“I will face God and walk backwards into Hell”

Uber? I barely know her!

That school everyone in Massachusetts applied to, because why not

College, but it’s harder to spell

Ben and Jerry’s

Sentence: Yeech! What is that awful noise? Oh—my waffle’s done!

Ordering food from Wahlburgers.

The best nightclub in town

the second-largest non-military dorm in the country, and the second-most on-fire building in the country

80% males, 100% catcalling you

A direction on the compass. That is all. Sentence: We need to travel east, because west is not best.

We Got (This) Bread, Homie

We actually don’t know what this is. We heard someone may have seen this one time but we have no real witnesses.

You should not go here with a fox. You should not go here in a box. You should not go here on a train. You should not go here on a plane. You should not go here in a suit. You should not go here with a boot. You should not go here eating candy. You should not go here drinking brandy. You should not go here to look a book up. You should only go here for a hook-up.

What happens when you gentrify the Brownstones

Salutations, I am fully literate. Watch me read.

teh randumb xD *le holds up spork* epic bacon time

The only thing that is listened to less frequently than the audiobook for “In Trump We Trust” by Ann Coulter (except for The Blunder Years, which everybody on campus listens to)

see: Fresh Food Co. at Marciano Commons

Yes except every time