GSU—In a shocking announcement, Boston University’s Student Activities Office has said that Spring 2019 will be the first semester to include a “Weeks of Unwelcome”…
MORSE AUDITORIUM—Get ready for a story that’s going to get your eyes watering and your heart throbbing. While most BU students are finding themselves stressed…
"Wait... what? Where am I? What is this? This didn't exist before, did it?" These were the fateful words spoken by Boston University senior, Robert…
AMBULANCE—A Bunion suffered reporter stroke a writing while this article. He continued his with article even suffering while. The dedicated Patterson reporter Eric (21 COM’)…
NEAR THE GSU—It has been reported that the turkeys who always hang around campus will, in fact, be “flying the f*ck home for Thanksgiving.” “We…
OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT—Following students’ universally positive response to the BU Hub, Boston University is pleased to announce their new program, the BU Snub, that…
Boston University students and faculty were shocked this morning upon receiving a startling confession from President Brown: he has been just two small children in…
BU DATA SCIENCE CENTER—Jenga is the hottest game in the country, and on October 1, BU President Robert A. Brown announced that the university intends…
MARSH PLAZA—Due to excessive complaining from BU students, the BU BUS has implemented 20 new stops throughout campus. Now, the average COMM AVE loop takes…
BU ADMISSIONS—After years of orientation tours full of over-inquisitive little twerps, it was announced today that the area of grass overlooking the Charles River, known…