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THE WEEKLY BUPDATE —- ZOOM CLASS OR MONASTERY? THIS BREAKOUT ROOM IS COMPLETELY SILENT —- RHETT BENCH HAS SEEN TOO MUCH, TAKES TEMPORARY LEAVE —- ANTHROPOLOGY MAJOR ACTUALLY “HATES PEOPLE,” SOURCES SAY —- LAUNDRY DAY: STUDENT WASHES OUTFIT THEY WORE FOR ENTIRE SEMESTER
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New Report Shows Students Abusing COVID Testing Lines for Human Interaction

November 9, 2020 0

BU COVID TESTING CENTERS – From the same people who update the COVID-19 dashboard, a new report has been released revealing that students have been…

Campus

Students For Trump Organization Announces 100% Off Sale At All Campus Stores Starting Tonight

November 6, 2020 0

Despite Black Friday still being weeks away, a “Students For Trump” group on campus has announced a huge 100% off sale at all businesses on…

Campus

Man Hanging Out With Students in Dorm Lobby Confused Why He Is Getting Paid

November 5, 2020 0

Martin Showid, 35, has spent every night for the past 7 years casually hanging out with students in the lobby of Stuvi 1. He pre-games…

Campus

Halloween Party Busted By Coronavirus PD

November 2, 2020 0

A Halloween party in Allston was broken up over the weekend after more than 5 students gathered in a sticky basement. BUPD got wind of…

Campus

Student Says Beetlejuice Three Times “Just To Feel Something”

October 30, 2020 0

GSU – The Boston University campus was rattled today after a student summoned the evil spirit Beetlejuice “just to feel something.” “Honestly I didn’t think…

Campus

Peeping Tom Peeps Schnoz Swabs, BU Bellows

October 27, 2020 0

Reports skyrocketed this week of a man outside of BU COVID-19 testing centers, watching students shove q-tips into their nostrils. The offender, whose haunt is…

Campus

Extremely Trustworthy Russian Information Campaign To Hold Hiring Event on Campus

October 26, 2020 0

With the global economy in a hiring freeze, BU is proud to announce a new hiring event next week with an exciting employer: a Russian…

Campus

Gang Rivalry Escalates Between Fuck It Won’t Cut It and Don’t Go Viral

October 21, 2020 0

A SKETCHY ALLEY BEHIND THE 808 TESTING SITE– There’s another epidemic plaguing Boston University: A gang rivalry. The back alleys of campus are the battleground…

Campus

Freshmen Given Sex Dolls To Enforce Social Distancing

October 20, 2020 0

As freshmen struggle with making friends, adjusting to a new city, a college workload, and more, one very unexpected problem has arisen: 18 year olds,…

Campus

Uh-Oh: Students Caught Using Chegg To Cheat On COVID Tests

October 16, 2020 0

Last week, news surfaced that a large group of students have been using Chegg, an online tutoring service, to cheat on their school mandated COVID-19…

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  • 3 Lesser-Known MLK Letters That Show He Was A Terrier Too January 18, 2021
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