Many Boston University men’s hockey fans are hurt and disappointed after the team’s close loss to Providence College in the NCAA championship, especially after a miscue by BU’s goalie in the third period. However, few attendees realize that the sudden appearance of a supermassive black hole in the crowd was a larger factor in the mistake than previously thought.

“When there’s no room for error and the chips are down, it takes one hell of a spectacle to distract you,” BU coach David Quinn said. “But that’s exactly what happened when he saw the event horizon of a supermassive black hole just sitting right there in Section G4.”

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t blame him in the slightest for taking in such an amazing sight,” he continued. “I mean, this is Sagittarius A, the supposed supermassive black hole at the center of the Milky Way Galaxy.”

“What it was doing here, I have no idea, but you’d be awestruck too if you were down there on the ice and you saw something like that.”

Other students and spectators later said that they too, completely understood the impact that such an event had on the game.

“Initially, I was heartbroken,” said BU student Dean Sweetwater (CAS ‘16). “But then I realized, hey, if that was me down there and I just witnessed the onset of an interstellar event that spelled the rapid disintegration and destruction of our entire solar system, I’d be pretty distracted too.”

At press time, the black hole was seen high-fiving Providence College players in their locker room with a “Mission Accomplished,” banner draped around its horizontal accretion disc.

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