PAVEMENT COFFEEHOUSE—City officials removed nearly a dozen large blue lego blocks of enormous size after an injured giant complained to the city that the blocks posed a safety hazard to giants, ogres and other mythical monsters.
“We need to ensure the safety of all Boston residents, including giants and other behemoths,” said Boston Mayor Martin Walsh. “Once I heard that a giant had hurt his foot on the city’s legos, I ordered them destroyed.”
“These giant legos serve no real purpose except to discriminately injure the monster community”, said Igrok, an Ogre from Jamaica Plain. “I am glad the city has respected our wishes, and commend Mayor Walsh’s quick action.
“But if the legos return, Mayor Walsh should prepare for a war that will leave the streets red with blood,” Igrok said while stroking his torque rifle.
The giant who filed the complaint, who still would not give his name, said his injuries are slowly healing. He said he hoped to fully recover by the end of the month so he could go ice skating at the Boston Common.
At press time, a number of subpar Mega Blocks were being ignored on a Somerville avenue.