Most Friday and Saturday nights, after trying (and failing) to find parties to go to for the night, we find ourselves packing into Agganis Arena to watch our BU Men’s Hockey team. Sure, maybe you attend because you’re a hockey fan, but it’s most probable that you go solely because of the correlation of the games and porn.

To save you some time after you aimlessly think “porn and hockey?”, we’ve compiled the list as for why anyone would make such a comparison. 

  1. Free entertainment (for BU Students)

Let’s start here. Unless you’re some sort of high-class sexual connoisseur, I don’t think you’re binge-watching paid porn. But if you are, that’s fine (and if you want to share your credit card # with us as well, that’s also fine). But, for us slightly more normal spectators, we have the grace of watching ~quality~ film for free. For BU students, the hockey games are free. See the connection?

  1. Watched by many… for hours

BU must really have a ton of fans because the stadium is packed with hopeful spectators! Not quite as many as porn websites get, but they sure are getting there!

  1. It’s Addicting

Once you go to one game, you just can’t get enough! Something about the environment of Agganis Arena and the talent of our Men’s Terriers keeps us coming back every week!

And that’s kind of like porn! While it probably keeps you coming back more like a couple times a day, it sure gets… addicting. Just like hockey!

  1. Is Arousing

Is the crowd cheering when they make a play, or is everyone moaning?

  1. Sex Noises

Speaking of noises, the men in uniform sure love to grunt!

  1. Sweaty Men

This is self-explanatory. Both art forms- BU Men’s Hockey and adult movies- have sweaty men. It’s a nice sight, to say the least.

  1. Banging on Walls

It’s like hockey players want us to compare their competitions to porn. They bang on the plexiglass so much- all hot, sweaty, bloody, grunty, tall, strong… (shit sorry)- and assume that they aren’t coercing us into bed with them!

  1. Lots of Choking

Listen… we know that Hockey is fully a sport. But some of their actions make us wonder if the players know everyone gets turned on from watching them, and not because they’re hot. Much like porn, our Men’s Hockey team helps normalize choking kinks! Who knows, maybe they’re all into each other and choking during the game is their foreplay for whatever goes on off the ice. All we know is that it’s equally as hot.

  1. Being Pinned Up

I know we all have fantasies that are played out in porn of getting pinned against a wall by the hottest being alive. If you want that to become a normal occurrence for you, living vicariously through the players attending a hockey game sure is a way to get pinned against a wall by a semi-attractive man! And, if you’re lucky, like we said before, you’ll probably get choked. Double whammy!

  1. Our sources say that some of the most popular porn movies were filmed at Agganis Arena. Coincidence? We think not.

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