GOTHAM— I’ve always had a thing for men with green pubes. I suppose it started at age 6 when I first encountered the Shrek franchise and was immediately smitten with the titular hunk. However, in my old age, I’ve come to treasure men with sophisticated humor and who know what they want. 

That’s what drew me to The Joker. He’s well-dressed with just enough of an edge to him to make our sex life interesting. Of course, there’s also his obsessive nature that I can’t help but swoon over. A hot guy who wants nothing more than to know you every move? I’m hot and heavy. 

But, as is the case with all seemingly-perfect men, my Joker has a fatal flaw: he likes to hold entire cities hostage and cause mass chaos. Huge bummer, I’ll admit, however I just know I could fix him. 

How, you might ask? Simple. I’ll [redacted].

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