Photoshopped by Robert Branning (COM '21)
Frank Hernandez (COM '20)

Frank is a senior from Puerto Rico studying journalism. His mom thinks he's pretty funny.

FACEBOOK—So there you are on Facebook, scrolling through memes, news articles, and more memes when you see your friend has just changed their profile picture. The pic looks good enough but wait, what’s that watermark they got going? Oh no. It can’t be. Did your friend just change their profile picture to promote their club event? Oh God, everybody else is doing the same. Innocent Facebook scroller, this puts you in a precarious situation! How do you address these friends who have voluntarily given away their self-identity in order to promote their free Friday night show? How do you come to terms with their “wow look at me, I’m doing so much more than you” attitude?

Worry not, dear reader, The Bunion has you covered. Here are our 4 ways on how to deal with somebody who has just changed their profile pic to advertise their event:

1. Like the profile pic.

If you really have no desire to go to this event, the least you can do is like the profile pic. Luckily for you, Zuckerberg invented the like button specifically for these situations. This vapid demonstration of support is sure to get your friend excited about you maybe going to their event while in reality you’re just going to stay in your dorm watching episodes of The Great British Baking Show which, honestly, is a better use of your time.

2. Unfriend them.

If they changed their profile picture for an event once, they’re bound to do it again. Cover your bases and straight up unfriend this punk. In this day and age of AdBlockers, advertisements as intrusive and blatant as these are an egregious mistake. Must you remind them they’re on FACEBOOK and not CRAIGSLIST?! As you hit that unfriend button, take one last good look at their profile pic. Wow. I can’t believe this alright person you took a class with once has become such a self-promoting douche. Unfriend them and don’t think twice.

3. Participate.

Hey wait a minute. Let’s really think about this for a sec… Maybe you’re being a bit too harsh. Deep down you know your friend has put in a lot of work to make this thing happen. Weeks of planning, scheduling, and effort have finally made their event come to fruition and honestly dude, they’re not asking for much. Sure, you might find the photos a bit obnoxious, but advertising isn’t cheap. Maybe the real reason you feel annoyed and maybe even a bit angry is because you feel a tad inadequate. Is it because you feel like you’re not doing much with your time in college? It’s alright dude, I get it, but you don’t have to compare yourself to other people. Comparison is the thief of joy, and in my book, you’re already doing enough.

4. Deactivate All Social Media Accounts.

Actually, scratch all that. Your “friend” has ruined all the integrity of the social media landscape with their selfishness and they’ve shown no remorse. Delete it at all. Keep your finsta though. You need to vent about this somehow.

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