COM LAWN—“What?” was the reply of junior Jeff Johnson (QST ‘20) after finally noticing his friend across the lawn. Johnson was looking straight ahead, seemingly undistracted, when Kelly Strippa (COM ‘21) tried to say hi to him, only to discover that he had Airpods in the whole time.

Johnson is part of a larger trend of students completely ignoring their friends on the street, only for their friends to realize that they’re actually blasting music.

“It was really embarrassing for me,” said Strippa. “I called his name like six times from all the way across the COM lawn. I tried raising my volume, different inflections, and I even tried saying it in a few different accents.”

“I just thought no one was saying hi to me on the street anymore,” said Johnson. “Now that I know I’m just not hearing them, I feel a lot better.”

When asked whether he will retire his Airpods in light of this discovery, Johnson scoffed. “Are you kidding? I’ll never use regular earbuds again. For one thing, these things have a superior sound. And I don’t have to take my phone out of my pocket, or press that little button to pause my music—it just stops when I take one out. If I lose a few friends over this, it’s worth it.”

At press time, Johnson was walking when a jogger brushed past him, knocking an Airpod out of his ear and into the sewer.

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