Halloween is a time to dress up and pretend to be someone else, other than of course everyday when we wake up and have to contend with existence. But on Halloween you can be hot, you can be cool, you can be sexy! In my opinion, one of the highest forms of flattery is dressing up as another sexy person. However, noticeably, no one has taken up the duty of dressing as Sexy Franklin Delano Roosevelt, so I suppose the honor falls to me.
Why Sexy FDR? one may ask. Well, first of all, as the 32nd President he led the country through World War II and the Great Depression (here’s to hoping this costume cures mine). Not to sound like an APUSH exam, but he also implemented the New Deal which provided economic relief, public programs, and financial reform to Americans. I personally think inventing social security oozes sex appeal, and can’t believe no one has decided to dress as him yet.
How can FDR be sexy? one insolent fool may ask. First of all, use your eyes. Second of all, he served a cinched waist from Hyde Park to D.C. and those bifocals of his walked so Zooey Deschanel’s adorkably hot glasses look could run.
Why Me for Sexy FDR? one may finally ask. I do not necessarily care for US politics, but FDR was a bad bitch. He slayed and stayed for three whole terms, and that is the stubbornly fierce energy I want to embody this Halloween when I am being told I need to put my third cup of jungle juice down because I’m “causing a scene”! He was also a Proud Ally considering his wife, Eleanor, preferred the company of ladies. So, pass me that cane and cigarette holder, ‘cause I am about to serve Sexy FDR realness.
No one is perfect, especially not someone who willingly runs for US office. He didn’t do a smidge of war crimes here or there like other presidents, but he did go to Harvard, so somewhat similar terrain.
If no one wants to respect this icon of American politics and all of his accomplishments (gross sentence, I know) while embracing their innate sexuality…. then I guess it is up to me to do Frankie proud.