Chase Madden (QST '20)

Chase studies finance at Questrom and undoubtedly would be placed in Slytherin because of it.

WARREN TOWERS—Late last night, Warren Towers suffered a pipe burst injuring several students.

One student, Timothy Long (CAS ’22) was unable to be reached for comment as he was unconsciously dragged off to class by fellow classmates, as class attendance was mandatory.

When the maintenance staff was asked why a low hanging leaky pipe was never fixed, they offered up their point of view, claiming, “this generation truly finds a way to complain about everything” and “only one pipe? Could’ve sworn I’ve been avoiding work on at least a dozen of them.”

At first, BU officials were unaware that students were still being housed in Warren Towers claiming, “I thought the state deemed that place uninhabitable.” They then asked us many times if we wanted to talk about the new computer science building, and we declined.

When asked further, they decided to consider Warren Towers accommodations as “rustic” and a “character building experience.”

We will update you with more comments from the students of Warren Towers, if they are able to make it through the week.

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