Photoshopped by Vanessa Kjeldsen (COM '23)
Caroline Koehl (CAS '22)

Caroline Koehl is a second year student from Minneapolis, MN. She is studying International Relations and Environmental Analysis & Policy.

WARREN TOWERS— Last Thursday at 2:30 am, the Warren Towers fire alarm sounded and the emergency alert voice instructed residents to leave the building. While many students followed the instructions, Josh McKinnon (CAS ‘23) decided to ignore the alarm.

Five minutes after the alarm ended, McKinnon, alone in his room, figured he could safely go back to bed. However, the alarm’s work was not done. McKinnon recalls the voice saying, “Josh McKinnon, I see you in there! Get out of bed and go outside!”

McKinnon said he was startled by the direct callout, but ignored it at first.

“I was half asleep, and honestly I didn’t really care what the lady was saying. It’s not like she’s my mom.”

However, the voice quickly escalated her threats to coax McKinnon out of his bed, reportedly saying, “Joshua Earl McKinnon, don’t make me call your mother while she’s asleep back home in New Jersey. She would be so disappointed! If you don’t get going, I’m telling her about that girl you had over last week. Who you ghosted!

“I don’t really know who that voice lady is, but honestly, I respect her authority,” McKinnon said. “We made a deal for me to go outside in exchange for her not telling my RA about the hamsters I’m keeping in my room.”

At press time, The Bunion learned that the fire alarm was threatening students who ignored her instructions saying that she “will burn the building to the ground next time.”

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