COMMONWEALTH AVENUE — It’s been a long, cold winter, and Boston University is no stranger to the copious amounts of white stuff that coats our campus this time of year. But snowfall also means road salt, and this year it’s turned into a big problem for BU dining services.
All that flavor in the streets is posing some tough competition for the Warren Dining Chefs, as spices are not something they’re too acquainted with. Students from all over have flocked to the bustling lanes of Commonwealth Avenue in the hopes of obtaining just the slightest lick of seasoning. While they run the risk of getting plowed by oncoming traffic, Terriers are claiming it’s all worth the vehicular manslaughter risk.
“As a white person I’m really accustomed to not tasting anything whenever I eat, so I think the road salt is a game changer for me. I hear that road pepper is the next big thing,” said Mackinleigh Grace (COM ‘22). “I’m also totally cool with licking asphalt in the middle of a busy street, because if I die at least I’ll do it after using my taste buds for the first time, which was on my bucket list.”
The Bunion attempted to receive feedback from other students occupying the Avenue but were unable to do so as a result of snowplows removing them every 30 seconds.
At press time, a recorded 27 students had been injured in some capacity from consuming their meals on Comm Ave. Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates have yet to release this afternoon’s numbers, which are expected to raise the total casualty count to well over 100.