EAST CAMPUS—Reports confirm that following a surge in pedestrian collisions on Commonwealth Avenue, members of the University have begun a campaign to stop the prevalence of cases of texting while walking.

“We won’t stop until we see every perpetrator brought to justice,” declared Brian Roberts (SMG ‘15), president of SAFETY [Students Against Feeling Endangered by Texting Youths]. “I was walking behind one just today—she was swerving across the entire sidewalk.”

Student Health Services reports that following a four-man pileup early yesterday, there were zero serious injuries and one case of stubbed toes.

“She hit me out of nowhere,” said victim Anna Meyers (COM ’16), nursing her foot in the SHS waiting room. “She knocked the Starbucks right out of my hand!”

Coupled with Ugg-to-Ugg traffic at peak class-time hours, distracted walking is becoming a highly dangerous epidemic.

“Reports of reckless walking have been becoming more and more frequent across campus,” says Roberts. “Five collisions have occurred this week alone, and the numbers are rising. The student body demands action.”

“BU is hereby enacting a zero-tolerance policy regarding Distracted Dawdling,” said University President Robert Brown in an e-mail to the BU community. “We are urging all students and faculty to put their feet down, but not before they put their phones safely away.”

Details on the Don’t Text and Walk initiative can be found on the SAFETY official website, stoptextingyouths.bu.edu.

At press time, President Brown was seen playing Words With Friends on his morning Dunkin’ Donuts run.

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