DEAN OF STUDENTS OFFICE—In a private summit which began earlier today in the Dean of Students Office, various administrative figures at Boston University expressed concerns that they had allowed The Bunion to publish groundbreaking, independent student journalism for a whole fucking year.

“You idiots!” shouted Dean Kenneth Elmore, pounding his fists on the table. “How have we stood idly by and watched this happen for a whole year?”

“A YEAR!!!” President Robert A. Brown added.

September 6th marks the anniversary of the first publish date of The Bunion, a day that has stood as an ugly mark on the University’s history.

“We’ve never dealt with something like this before,“ continued Brown, whose face was shrouded by a dark cloak identical to the ones that the other members of the secret meeting were wearing. ”[The Bunion] has done many profiles of students on campus, published extensive investigations of internal workings within the University, and even published some exclusive stories about people sitting in this room. They’ve become quite prominent, despite being an independent group. We don’t have a lot of control over what they do.”

“We could clearly just ask them to stop airing our dirty laundry. Have we tried contacting them at all?” asked Dean Elmore, before a wave of deafening silence filled the room.

“You mean to tell us,“ continued Elmore, after a few more seconds of silence, “That after a whole year of pulling our hair out – myself not included – over this Bunion, that we haven’t even tried asking them to stop? We haven’t tried reaching out to them at all?”

“I follow them on Twitter,“ said one person in the back of the room, quietly and quickly so as not to be identified.

“We do, too,” added two others.

“This is disgraceful,“ said President Brown, removing his glasses to rub his tired, bloodshot eyes. “They have over 1,200 followers and subscriptions on three different websites. Their numbers are growing. And our own people are among them? How can we win?”

Sources have confirmed that the meeting is still ongoing until Brown’s question is answered.

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