Photoshopped by Jacob Cohen (COM '22)
Caroline Koehl (CAS '22)

Caroline Koehl is a second year student from Minneapolis, MN. She is studying International Relations and Environmental Analysis & Policy.

100 BAY STATE ROAD– In a distressing, but perhaps unsurprising turn of events, BUPD recently found that late night restaurant Bay State Underground was operating as an illegal underground organ market.

Emma Lowe (COM ‘23) recalls being shocked by what she saw when she visited Bay State for the first time.

“I just wanted to get some food after I finished my homework, but when I got downstairs there was just a scary looking security guard and a bunch of adults bartering with students wearing nice clothes and carrying their organs on ice in Yeti coolers.”

According to police, Bay State Underground may have been operating as an illegal organ market since it rebranded in September 2018, and numerous students may have been involved in the lucrative scheme. In an official Boston University Police Department statement, the representative apologized for not catching the issue sooner.

“Menu items such as ‘healthy liver’ costing $600,000 really should have been a red flag for us,” BUPD said. “That’s on us.”

An official BU representative has stated that they are “deeply sorry such unsafe and illegal activity was able to proliferate on the Boston University campus,” and that they will be fully cooperating with police investigation.

“We here at Boston University truly hope it will not affect our US News college ranking… I mean… our status as an esteemed institution who is entrusted with thousands of students’ lives each year.”

In a recent interview, Lowe said that while she was deeply unsettled by the whole occurrence, she is glad to finally know how college students can afford tuition.

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