WEST CAMPUS—A transfer student has finished reading Wikipedia articles about Boston and is eager to share his newfound knowledge with his peers, sources confirmed.
“I was drawn to BU for many reasons, but I think what sealed the deal for me is that it’s the city’s fourth-largest employer,” said Ben Martin (CGS ’16). “I was really struck by the enigma that is this 1.7-mile stretch of Commonwealth Avenue, one of Boston’s major thoroughfares.”
Martin has used this information as a means of connecting to his new classmates.
“Hi, I’m Ben. What’s your name?” Martin asked the cute brunette sitting next to him in his COM 101 lecture. “You know, the Boston Tea Party wasn’t really sparked by higher taxes; in reality, the colonists were angry that they had no say over the government that ruled them.”
“Would you mind lowering your voice? I’m trying to take notes,” said Cecelia Jenkins (COM ’16), the classmate to whom the factoid was directed.
However, Martin’s methods of socialization have seemingly backfired, as classmates find his assertiveness of his excessive knowledge off-putting, even threatening.
“That was really odd,” Jenkins said. “I’m not really sure what compelled him to share that fact.”
Martin hopes that his excessive knowledge of all things Boston will allow him to take full advantage of the city he will call home for the next 2.5 years.
“I’d love to catch a Celtics game one day,” Martin said. “Just remind me not to wear my Lakers jersey—we don’t want any riots!”
At press time, Martin was headed to a good restaurant he wanted to try in the North End.