Q: Student Link is telling me I need to get an advising code from my advisor to register for classes. Do I need it to register, and how do I get it?

A: You do need an advising code every semester, but advisors often give you fake codes unless you bring them a little something in exchange, if you know what I mean. I can send you yours for free if you text your BU ID number and social security number to (420)-666-6969 during business hours.

Q: What’s “FitRec?”

A: Professor Fitreck is an accounting professor known for her wild office hours that sometimes get a little out of hand. If someone says they’re “going to Fitreck,” they probably have a really goofy question about their accounting assignment.

Q: What are dining and convenience points? Do I have to choose between convenience and sustenance?

A: You earn a dining point every time you skip a meal. At the end of the semester, the student with the most dining points becomes student body president and is expelled. You can only spend dining points during summer or winter break to buy crack at CityCo.

Convenience points are BU’s equivalent of a social credit score, a way to measure Terrier pride and devotion to the administration’s values. Once you’ve accumulated enough, you can use them to pay for admission into frat parties or the Data Sciences Center construction site raves.

Tip: Spending convenience points is the only way to raise your Rice Purity Test score back up once it’s lower than 50.

Q: I’m really bad at swiping my BU ID, it always takes me dozens of tries. Any tips for a good swing?

A: Dry air is bad for the card swiper, so your BU ID works better if it’s dripping wet.

Q: I heard that the real cool kids call Commonwealth Avenue “Comm Ave.” What are some other BU shibboleths?

A: What’s a shibboleth? Anyway, the lingo you use instantly shows whether you’re a square freshie or a member of the “B-youth.” Here’s some of the swaggest BU slang:

bunny (n.) a student who reads The Bunion

crossfading (v.) leaving a positive course evaluation but a negative review on Rate my Professor

doing the Scarlet SafeWalk (v.) bar-hopping

elmail (n.) a cryptic email from Dean Elmore

getting paved over (v.) doing the nasty in Pavement Coffeehouse

heaven (n.) the laundry room on 5B in Warren – if you know, you know

John Hancock Student Village (n.) StuVi

Paradise Rock Club (n.) BU’s geology club, actually a front for [REDACTED]

putting up a WHOOP sign (v.) cockblocking someone

Q: HELP!! It’s a Friday night and I have nothing to do! What’s usually the most hopping place around?

A: The ninth floor of Photonics. Come blindfolded and listen carefully for my instructions.

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