Tips For Regifting Gamestop Stock To Your Girlfriend For Valentine’s Day

So you’ve accidentally turned your entire life savings into stock options now worth less than a 10 piece chicken nugget meal at McDonalds. Trust me, we’ve all been there. But now with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it can be hard to find something for that special someone when you’re fending off calls from brokers, loan sharks, and your mom, whose Mastercard pin is actually just your birthday.

Why not just kill two birds with one stone and find a way to not only show your significant other that they’re the most important person in your life, but also unload some of your functionally worthless stock onto them. In that spirit, here are three tips to help you regift your useless Gamestop stock this Valentine’s day.

Tip 1: Get Them Excited

You’re definitely going to want to hype them up as much as you can for this present. For some people, this might be their first time owning stocks in their life, that’s a big deal! As a general rule of thumb, anytime they try to guess what your present might be, just give them a sly smirk and say: “Even better!”

Tip 2: Show Off The Receipts

Make sure you show them how much you paid for the stocks when you reveal the gift, it will help them understand just how meaningful this present really is! Don’t feel pressured to answer any annoying follow up questions they might have though, like, “Well how much is it worth now?” If they really loved you, they’d understand that it’s not your fault you bought at the all time high and then refused to ever sell.

Tip 3: Emphasize It’s A Long-Term Investment 

If at any point they start to get upset, make sure you reiterate that this is a healthy, long-term investing strategy. I mean, sure, Gamestop was functionally bankrupt 6 months ago, and still has no coherent business plan, and is closing dozens of stores monthly, and has lost money every quarter for years, and the global economy is on the brink of total collapse due to Corona, and you just gambled away every penny you’ve ever earned because u/BonerGod420 on Reddit told you to… but it’s gotta turn around at some point! 


Oh God I’m completely fucked aren’t I.

Leave a Reply