WARREN TOWERS—We met Cameron McMannerson (CAS ‘19) in her dorm as she prepared for the date of her dreams, which is to take place at a local Qdoba.

“I knew from the second we matched on Tinder that he was the man for me,” said McMannerson. “His first picture was a bathroom selfie with his tongue sticking out.”

The man, only known to the public as “Brad, 21” is a student at Wentworth Institute of Technology studying “self-employed.” He reportedly chose Qdoba because he only eats at restaurants with names he can’t pronounce.

“I’m like Frank Ocean in his song ‘Super Rich Kids,’” Brad said.

When asked why he didn’t take her to a nicer but equally tongue-twisting restaurant like Fogo De Chao, he laughed.

“I don’t subscribe to the sexist notion that a man must pay for an expensive dinner every time he takes a woman on a date. We’re in the 212th decade for God’s sake. Men do NOT get to ‘own’ women by paying for their fancy meals.”

At their date, Brad ordered chips, and mooched off of McMannerson’s burrito bowl the entire time. In the first five minutes of the date, he reportedly asked McMannerson if she had “pods.”

McMannerson did not in fact have “pods.”

Leave a Reply