GEORGE SHERMAN UNION—Disaster struck Boston University this week when a local campus food truck collided with three students in line for the much-anticipated debut of “Takin it to the Street,“ a new addition to the GSU’s food court.
Eyewitnesses confirmed that the truck came barreling into the GSU at speeds greater than 10 mph, before slamming into the three unsuspecting students who had arrived early for the grand opening.
“Nobody knew that they literally meant to take the eating experience ‘to the street,’” said one victim, Justin Pallenik (CAS ’16). “That might explain the brand new intersection and all that honking.”
“I hope somebody holds my place in line,” Pallenik continued, as he choked down a granola bar before undergoing emergency surgery on his lower back.
Reports indicate that “Takin it to the Street” had planned to model itself after Boston University’s main street, Commonwealth Avenue. However, the innovation has had unexpected results, as drivers now constantly mistake the restaurant for an alternative route. The idea has since spawned mixed opinions.
“The trucks get all backed up all the time,” said eyewitness Jamie Baxter (SMG ’16). “They’ve crashed into the Starbucks four times already – do they think the green means go?”
Although pedestrian traffic, automobile traffic, and even biker traffic has increased as a result of the new curbside restaurant, students remained optimistic about the situation.
“This is the best food I’ve had all year in the GSU,” claimed freshman Zoe Bishop, (CFA ’18). “I didn’t even care that the paramedics were trying to cut everybody.”
Despite the minor setback of the incident, reports confirm that the Union Court profits have been higher than ever before, and “Takin it to the Street” coordinators announced that they are putting in a stop sign next week.
At press time, Bishop’s parents were asking if they could park in the restaurant for Parent’s weekend.