The Pinky Toe is excited to announce the launch of our new cryptocurrency, Girlbosscoin. Developed in collaboration with Grimes, Elizabeth Holmes, and the random woman in our group chat who sends graphics everyday that say things like “The Future is Female” and “Gatekeep the Day Away,” Girlbosscoin is the very first cryptocurrency made specifically for boss babes.
Upon its launch, Girlbosscoin is already accepted as payment at most major multilevel marketing schemes, including the dog shampoo one that some girl from your high school DMed you about this morning! We are also working on an exclusive collab with Ella Emhoff where, when you make a Girlbosscoin contribution to the Biden-Harris Reelection Fund, she will knit you one of those cool funky little hats!
Mining Girlbosscoin is easy! You can just hire some sub-minimum wage workers to hunch over computers in a room in your basement to do it for you. Then, you can make a passive profit off their labor while you have a nice day speaking on some magazine’s panel about gender equity in the workplace. Make sure to hire women for these jobs (#feminist) and give them some cute perks like cucumber water to make up for the lack of healthcare coverage!
At press time, Girlbosscoin has a 0.82 exchange rate with Bitcoin, but we’ll just call that equality!