CITY CO—Sophomore Mark Gannet was seen buying gallons of extra virgin olive oil to prepare for the slowly approaching Valentines Day.

“I have never done anything like this before,” said Gannet (COM ’19). “This is all so new to me. I usually spend my Valentines Day with my mom. I can’t believe I have a real date.”

Though he initially went to the store to buy chocolate for himself to eat on February 14th, Gannet was struck when he saw the Extra Virgin Olive Oil title. He told The Bunion that he wasn’t sure what he would use it for, but he really identified with the “Super Virgin” title.

“I read somewhere that extra virgin olive oil is an aphrodisiac, so I hope Valentine’s Day is like how I imagine it in my dreams,” said Gannet.

Gannet imagined he might pour the entire bottle all over himself, and really soak in that super extra virgin oil to make him more attractive.

At press time, Mark hopefully awaited his date, sitting on his bed, soaked in oil.

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