Photoshopped by Ahmin Thornhill (COM '20)
Timothy Choi (COM '22)

Tim is a freshman from a cornfield just outside of Chicago, IL studying Film & Television.

WEST CAMPUS—Two Boston University freshmen found themselves locked in a tense standoff when each was waiting for the other to be the first to leave the adjacent bathroom stall.

Jessica Jamison (ENG ‘22) was relieving herself in a seventh floor bathroom when she heard another student enter the stall next to her.

“I couldn’t just leave,” she later explained from her hospital bed, where she was being treated for malnourishment and shock. “It was a men’s bathroom. It’d be embarrassing.”

While visiting some friends, Jamison had realized she needed to use the bathroom, but she would have had to climb at least two sets of stairs to get to a coed or all girls floor. Instead, she had decided to enter the men’s restroom under the pretense that no one else would enter at three in the morning.

Then, Ben Penderberg entered the stall.

“Since she’d started first, I figured she would leave before me,” Panderberg later claimed, bedridden after having partially eaten both his legs during the two weeks in the stall. “After about ten minutes, I’d waited so long I figured it would be weird if I left first, because what if she walked out and saw me and was like ‘that guy took an abnormally long shit’? I couldn’t have that.”

After examining Jamison and Penderberg in the hospital, medics reported that both students were lucky to be alive after having remained in the stalls for fourteen days straight. They were taken to a local hospital after a maintenance crew discovered them during a routine cleaning.

At press time, both students refuse to leave their hospital beds and are each waiting for the other to go home first.

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