GSU LINK—Erik O’Hare (SAR ’19) was just minding his own business staring off into space, daydreaming about meeting Satan as usual. The next thing he knew, his eyes were under attack.
Their eyes met from across the room. They stared deep into one another’s soul. It was pleasing, but oddly terrifying.
The other student was tabling for a bible study. His eyes bore into O’Hare’s soul. O’Hare couldn’t tell if the other student was judging him, or begging him to join his cult.
“It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced,” O’Hare said. “I felt so safe and yet so unsafe.”
The eye contact continued for three straight minutes until the other student’s eyes suddenly rolled back into his skull. It was only then that O’Hare approached the table.
“I realized then that it was definitely the good kind of eye contact. Satan was finally calling me,” O’Hare said. “I was home.”
“I am so glad that I could finally connect with Erik,” said Satan in an email to The Bunion. “People think he’s a good person, but did you know he lied to his mom when he was five. Yeah. Lying. Absolutely deplorable.”
O’Hare is not alone. Satan has been seen prowling around BU’s campus for the last two months in various forms, such as inside a Rhett costume, posing as President Brown, various professors, and even as the BU Bus. He has been collecting souls all across BU, O’Hare being his latest hit.
To avoid being Satan’s next victim, be sure to complete your WR150 Digication portfolio by 11:59PM yesterday.