ASHFORD STREET—After an unexpectedly long weekend due to a record-breaking snowstorm, a local student has realized that he’s quickly grown tired of the piles of snow left behind by the storm – as well as the girl that he hooked up with while he was snowed in.
Trevor Hobbes (COM ‘13) says that the storm added some unexpected excitement to an otherwise ordinary weekend. “I downloaded some movies, got some drinks, and put on a cozy sweatshirt. I was ready to ride out the storm,” says Hobbes. “I invited my friend Jess over, too. Nothing more romantic than a snowstorm, right?”
Hobbes says the weekend was a success. “Jess and I watched lots of good movies and drank lots of hot chocolate…that wasn’t the only hot thing that we had, though,” Hobbes added, before raising his eyebrows repeatedly several times. “We had sex.”
The two feet of snowfall not only caused a standstill of motor vehicle and pedestrian traffic, but it also left many students stuck indoors for the majority of the weekend. “It was nice,” says Hobbes. “We just stayed in and watched more movies and drank more hot chocolate. And did I mention the sex?”
This week, however, as facilities staff began clearing the snow off of essential roadways and piling it up on corners and greenspaces to turn brown and slushy, Hobbes says a similar change has happened in his feelings toward his new romantic partner.
“Every time I see Jess I just feel all brown and slushy inside, you know?” He said, remorsefully.
A poll conducted last week shows that 80% of students, when motivated to hook up with someone due to inclement weather, quickly change their minds about the decision once the weather returns to normal. Researchers are still investigating the correlation between snow-ins and bad romantic decisions, but believe it has something to do with the direct correlation between alcohol purchases from Blanchard’s and large amounts of snowfall.
Some students, however, don’t regret the people they hook up with regardless of whether they were snowed in at the time. “Oh, Trevor? He’s amazing,” says Jess Thomas (COM ’12). “I haven’t seen him in a while, though. You don’t happen to have his number, do you?”