Photoshopped by David Simon (COM '21).

GSU – The Boston University campus was rattled today after a student summoned the evil spirit Beetlejuice “just to feel something.”

“Honestly I didn’t think it would even work in the first place, but I guess all bets are off in 2020,” said Connor Collins (QST ‘23). 

When asked why he summoned the Evil spirit, Collins attributed it to a mix of curiosity, loneliness, and that little voice in every Questrom student’s head which compels them to sow chaos on campus. 

Since arriving on campus 10 minutes ago, Beetlejuice has terrorized over 20 students, unionized the cockroaches in Warren Towers, and intentionally spread the coronavirus.

“I stopped by Marciano Commons, but it looks like another spirit got to it already,” said Beetlejuice, as he turned off the school’s wifi router.

Collins said that he immediately regretted summoning the spirit, but didn’t know how to get him to leave.

“I only saw the first half of the movie and assumed someone else would know how to get rid of him,” Collins said. “I guess daylight come and he don’t wanna go home… wait… WHY DID I SAY THAT?!”

At press time, The Bunion was able to persuade Beetlejuice to transfer to BC so he could be exorcised by the faculty in their Theology Department.

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