CAS—Sources report that after one week of Boston University students returning to classes, unpacking belongings, and buying textbooks online, Harry Westgate (CAS ’17) has returned from his 2014 spring break.

“Yeah, man. Can’t believe I have to start getting back to school,” said Westgate, as he walked down his “old stomping grounds” in Myles. “That was the best week I’ve ever had.”

“Jeez, even my key doesn’t even remember where I’ve been,” Westgate laughed, as he attempted to unlock his door. “Alright, who changed the name tag on my door to Steven Chen? Real funny, guys, that’s real funny.”

After remarking on the unseasonably, “almost summer-like” warm Boston weather, which Westgate specifically attributed to Marathon Monday being “just around the corner,” reports suggest that the sophomore walked to his Philosophy class, still clad in the same O’Neil board shorts and panama hat that he flew back in.

“Where is everyone?” he said, after entering the empty classroom. “Man, I hope I didn’t come back during a day off, that would suck so hard.”

At press time, Westgate was reading several mysterious emails, all with the subject headlines, “academic probation” and “absent final exam.”

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