Photoshopped by David Simon (COM '21)
Maggie Vatter (CAS '22)

Maggie is a Junior studying International Relations and Spanish. She is nothing but a speck of dust in the grand scheme of things.

COVID-19 has forced students to turn to their community Facebook groups as a form of entertainment. Most posts have been harmless, such as posts about a lost dog or to inquire about when the local Pink Floyd cover band will be performing next. However last Tuesday, the peace of one Facebook page was interrupted by Luis Grendle (CAS ‘21) when he posted the simple petition: “We should become a nudist community”.

The initial post was soon followed by a surge of comments by community members voicing their opinion. 

Some members of the community were adamantly pro-nudist: “If God Wanted Me TO Wear Clothes I Would’ve Been Born With Them.” member Joanne Keebler commented, while another member Kyle Hengle chimed in,  “BAN CLOTHES!! My brother died in the war while wearing clothes and I KNOW he would have wanted it to be this way #supportourtroops”. 

However, some citizens voiced their preference to stay within the norm of wearing clothes. Gina Fenton wrote, “My GrandFather worked in a clothes. Factory. I will not dis respect his memory (sic).” Another simply commented, “maybe I would agree if I was a handsome boy like yourself XD”.

Soon, the post became a widely contested point of debate within the community. Each side of the issue now has its own private Facebook group. Recently, a large crowd had gathered within the community to show their support. The local park on Wednesday was filled with nude protesters holding pitchforks and torches, demanding a ban on the clothes who were then met with a counter-protest of snow-suit wearing citizens holding t-shirt cannons. 

“Yeah, I had no idea it would turn into something like this,” said Luis Grendle outside of the protests, fully nude  “I was just hoping for this girl that I like to see the post and agree. I was only able to get into the nudist group but the only person I knew in there was my highschool physics teacher, Mr. Johnson.”

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