WARREN TOWERS—Freshman Alison Lowet decided to name her laundry bag she is going to take home to her parents next week in honor of the ship that carried the pilgrims to North America.

“I am so excited for my mom to do my laundry,” said Lowet (CAS ’19). “I felt like it was necessary to name my bag after the Mayflower to get into the Thanksgiving spirit. It feels like I am bringing my mother a gift from a foreign land!”

Lowet confirmed that she has not done her laundry since the first week of school and that it is extremely dirty.

“My laundry is so filthy that it is a piece of history,” claimed Lowet. “Some clothes aren’t gonna make it to land, but I think my parents should be thankful for it.”

At press time, sources discovered that Lowet also stuffed a turkey in her laundry bag.

Leave a Reply