BOSTON—Eyewitness reports have shown that local student Steven Jensen (SAR ‘13) probably thinks he’s so great for voting today.
Local speculation indicates that Jensen, who was seen in the GSU Food Court this afternoon wearing an “I Voted” sticker over his chest, must be so proud of himself for exercising his democratic rights. “I don’t even know who he voted for, but look at him. He looks so smug,” said one student sitting in a corner booth surrounded by three MacBook Pros. “I would vote, but I’m not old enough,” she said, wrapping her over-sized scarf more tightly around her neck. Would you mind leaving me alone now? I’m sorry, I’ve just gotta finish this paper.“
After ordering a sandwich at the food court, witnesses say that Jensen had a friendly exchange with two of his friends and high fived a third person all due to the sticker on his chest.
“Yeah man, that’s what I’m talking about!” said one of Jensen’s friends.
“Who knew that a sticker could get me so much approval?” said a surprised Jensen, who had never gotten such a big response from people for doing something that is expected of everyone. “No one was this supportive after that time I cleaned my plate.”
At press time, Jensen could be seen searching for ways to make stickers last as long as possible on Google.