ALLSTON—Declaring, “We really need to calm these kids down,” BU student Lou Tennant (SGT ’19) was spotted at 1:54AM in his cop costume talking authoritatively to the police officers who had just arrived to the out-of-control Allston Halloween party.
“These kids really need to learn the line between having some harmless fun and breaking the law, wouldn’t you agree?” Tennant asked the police officer standing next to him before tossing back his fourth shot of vodka.
Moments later, sources report seeing Tennant standing in the center of a circle of five police officers, showing off the three stars on the sleeve of his costume. “This guy is really something. I haven’t even gotten one star yet,” commented one officer. Tennant then pulled his nerf gun out of his holster, held it to his chest, closed his eyes, and smiled, lamenting “I’m just so honored to be working with a group of close friends like you all, protecting this great great city from crime. You all are like the family I never had.”
At press time, eyewitnesses report that Tennant shouted, “Everybody freeze!” and proceeded to rapid fire forty foam darts into the air. Three students received boo-boos from the impact, which were promptly treated with disinfectant wipes, Neosporin, and Iron Man Band-Aids by P. D. Atrishin (COM ’20) thanks to her handy doctor costume.