WEST CAMPUS—Students throughout BU are being warned to refrain from going to class if they are exhibiting indications of the flu. Student Health Services advises that “students should stay home from class if they have become extremely tired or nauseous, or if they have vomited within the past twenty four hours.” Unfortunately, this has led to some confusion on campus.

Brad Herringbone (COM ‘16) explains that he skipped his Bob Dylan-themed WR 150 course because he felt all of the symptoms that Student Health Services warned against. “Sure, I didn’t have the flu, but I definitely needed a nap and some Tylenol,” said Herringbone, who still hadn’t done the assigned reading for the class that he missed at press time.

This incident has led Student Health Services to release a statement differentiating between being hung over and having influenza.

One nurse commented, “If you’re hugging the toilet because you’ve been shot gunning beer all night, this does not mean you have the flu. If you’re tired and sore because you spent the night walking to Allston and back in heels, you also do not have the flu.”

Boston University professors would like to remind their students that they will not be excused from class for a simple hangover. “But I guess it doesn’t matter that much,” said one professor from the math department. “I mean, if it’s my 8 AM lecture, who the hell is going to notice, anyways?”

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