BOSTON UNIVERSITY BOOKSTORE — Students are growing increasingly frustrated with the price of textbooks, which seems to increase every semester. Despite their complaints, a new report indicates that the majority of these students have not even opened their textbooks yet.

“I had to spend over a hundred dollars on textbooks this semester,” said Steven Filch (CAS ‘22). “For…what, six books? I shouldn’t have to spend this much!  This is completely insane!”  

When asked why he bought the textbooks anyway, Filch grew flustered and irrationally angry. “They’re textbooks!  You have to buy them!” he said. “I like having a copy I can hold in my hands. If I ever decide to read them. Shut up.”

Despite his expressions of frustration, Filch admitted that he has yet to read, or even open, any of his six new textbooks. “I mean, you don’t need to do all of the reading,” he said. “Not in the first few weeks of the semester. And they tell you pretty much everything you need to know in lecture. Right?”

At press time, Filch was seen replacing the plastic wrap on one of his books in an attempt to get a full refund at Barnes & Noble.

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