Wow, at least you’re not her! This queen, Magenta, started referring to everything as ‘slayful.’ At first her friends thought it was cute; they got constant compliments like “Bestie that outfit is giving major slayage” or “Girl, you may have failed that assignment, but your GPA is still so slay pussy pop explosion gun sounds!” 

It got old real fast; no one wanted to hear about how Magenta’s acai bowl from Life Alive was “slayful the house down boots.” Everyone liked it for about 10 seconds, before all of her friends decided she needed to stop. 

During an intervention held in an abandoned CAS lecture hall, Magenta’s dear friends and professors (she started signing all her emails with “slayfully, Pussy Queen Magenta” and even her professor of Psychology of Gender: The effects of RuPaul’s Drag Race on ‘Straight’ Women was concerned) gathered to discuss her issue. 

Her friends agreed that she was incredibly annoying, and the 100 strangers who signed a petition outside the GSU which would ban the word ‘slay’ from campus agreed that Magenta needed to be stopped. 

Violet Bush, a linguistics major (CAS ‘23), felt that the overuse of ‘slayful’ could be detrimental 

Firmly in denial, Magenta furiously stormed out of the room, but not before telling everyone who came to help her that they “reached maximum levels of slayage” and that she would never forget them. 

Magenta now embraces her slayfulness, even though there is no one to bask in her glory with her. She realized that her past relationships were preventing her from reaching maximum slay-tential, so Queen Magenta now walks down Comm Ave confidently (and there is no friends to make her be that awkward third person who has to walk behind the other two because there’s no room on the sidewalk), so really who won?

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