SOMEWHERE BETWEEN CFA AND STUVI 2—In a sudden turn of events, BU was forced to move the spring concert out of FitRec to the BU Beach due to a misunderstanding of fire code regulations. Unfortunately, in a more on-brand turn of events, BU had to move the concert once again because fraternities and sororities were hissing at anyone who got near their rock.

But fear not Terriers, because the new venue is edgier and more unstable than that kid from your middle school chorus class (you know the one). That’s right— the 802.1 concert will now take place on the BU Bus.

How will that work? Suckers who bought the tickets will be sad to hear that they are now void and instead, seats are first come first serve. The rest of the concertgoers will be forced to follow the bus on its Charles River and Medical campus routes to at the very least hear the muffles of Aminé’s rapping.

Some students are thrilled.

“I was taking the bus to my 10 A.M. accounting midterm this morning when I got the email,” recounted Da DeesMoni (QST ‘21). “As the bus pulled into my stop, I knew what I had to do. I put my briefcase down, zipped up my pants, and decided to stay on the bus until concert time. My dad can fix my grades later.”

Other students, like Mes Sidrinker (ENG ‘19), were annoyed they would have to trail the bus while pre-gaming.

“Do they even understand how hard it is to get trashed while running after a bus? Your drink spills everywhere, your mom calls and asks if you have a job lined up yet, and all you can do is pant into the phone and hold down the urge to vomit while you keep running.”

At any rate, whether they’re excited or angry, all students are taking the decision in stride. Mostly because they have no choice but to keep pace with the bus.

At press time, the BUS was seen flipping the sign to “Out of Service” moments before Aminé was set to step into the doorway.

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