CUMMINGTON MALL—As flurries of snow have begun to pile up in mass amounts all over Boston, resident snowflake Number 4,000,000,000,024 more commonly reffered to by family and friends as “Paul”, worries that his resume may not be unique enough for the city’s standards anymore.

“With all of the competition this winter, I’m just not sure if I’m the ‘catch me on your tongue’ material that they’re looking for,” said Paul, his confidence slowly fading with every word.

Paul recently paid a visit to the Center for Career Development’s open resume workshop hours to see how he might be able to up his game at a coming interview. Career counselor Samantha Prost tried to boost his confidence by pointing out that his pattern, different than that of every other snow flake, is his greatest strength for the season.

Paul admits that Prost is right: he does have a unique pattern, but his self assurance wavers while he looks pensively into the distance and wonders if his looks will be enough to get him by this year.

“In a regular year, snowflakes like Paul should not be concerned about standing out from the crowd in the slightest,” says Prost. His recent work experience includes Nemo (2013), and the New York City Blizzard of 2006. “If a snowflake with these credits can’t find work, it makes us wonder, who can?”

At press time, Paul stroked his 5 o’clock shadow, lounged on his couch in his sweatpants for the fifth day in a row, and faced the bitter reality of unemployment.

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