BAY STATE DINING HALL—Dinner at Bay State Dining on Monday was interrupted dramatically when Freshman Ted Rodrigues (CGS ‘20) made an observation that shocked the campus: “Dining Halls are not even Halls.”

“When I first heard about the dining halls I was excited for longer narrow spaces where food could be consumed and laughs could be shared,” stated Rodrigues. “But this isn’t a hall at all! It’s a bunch of interconnected rooms!”

While the University has refused to acknowledge this recent revelation despite the petition to officially change the name of the areas to Dining Interconnected Rooms on that is racking up signatures.

“We shouldn’t be told we’re getting one thing and then getting something completely different, that’s basically communism,” declared Haily Sherfa (SAR’ 18). “What if on Lobster Night they brought us Crab instead? I knnow what I’d do and let me tell you, you don’t want to know.”

“It involves crabs,” continued Sherfa.

“This keeps happening,” said University Official, Sandra Twitkock. “People keep coming up to me like, ‘Hey Sandra, the BU Beach isn’t actually a Beach’, ‘Hey Sandra, adjunct professors aren’t actually paid enough to be professors,” I’m so sick of it and I want it to stop.”

At press time, President Brown was spotted running around the campus, spray painting over the ‘hall’ on all the signs for University Dormitories.

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