According to her underclassmen friends, Julie Stems (COM’16) has too frequently begun jokes about her future unemployment, which will begin in May of 2016 directly following her graduation.

“We’d be okay with it if it were just a comment here or there about how she’s not sure if she’ll be able to get a job after graduation, but she keeps bringing it up out of no where, like every twenty minutes,” said Stems’ friend, Troy Pent (CAS ’18).

Julie has reportedly related her unemployment to unrelated topics such as cheese, the upcoming elections, and Ryan Seacrest’s new haircut.

“They aren’t even well thought out jokes, they’re just comments to redirect the conversation back to her,” said Pent. “I was talking about my new girlfriend the other day and Julie was like ‘Wow, it must be nice to have someone to hug. I’ll never have that because I don’t have a job,’ and I was like, do you think that’s what bosses do? That isn’t what jobs are for Julie.”

Other comments that Julie has made include her joking about her theater minor, the fact that she can’t wait to ‘be poor’, and her inevitable grocery store switch from Whole Foods to Shaw’s, which she compares to the tragic story arc of  Anna Karenina.

“You guys ever heard of The Prince and The Pauper? That’s like me but I’m both of them!”

“I’m seriously concerned though. Does she think all people do is hug at jobs? Maybe that’s why she hasn’t gotten a job.”

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