ZISKIND LOUNGE—BU student Pree Fursbumble (COM ‘19) Tinder-swiped right on Brock Hamper (QST ‘18), a self-proclaimed “Questrom Meninist Brony,” in a selfless effort to win a free Cardi B concert for the university. Ever since rapper Cardi B partnered with Tinder to create a “Swipe-Off” competition, students like Fursbumble have been drastically lowering their standards, helping BU rise to the top 16.

Fursbumble told Bunion reporters that what initially drew her eye to Hamper’s Tinder was his profile picture: him in a My Little Pony costume, with a “MENINIST” t-shirt over it, smoking a cigarette.

“My gut instinct was to swipe left. But I knew that my classmates were depending on me, so, in the name of the sacred Howard Thurman Center for Common Ground, I sucked it up and super-liked him,” said Fursbumble.

It was a match.

“As if that wasn’t bad enough, Cardi B announced later that students who went on actual dates got extra points in the competition,” Fursbumble continued.  “So, I knew what I had to do.”

Hamper took her to a local gun show. When asked about the date, Fursbumble confessed to actually having a nice time. In an interview with The Bunion, Hamper lamented, “Yeah, she’s ugly as h***. I only swiped on her for the Cardi B concert. Punch it in!!”

At press time, ENG students were seen desperately swiping right, though none seemed to be aware of the contest.

Leave a Reply