Photoshop by Frank Hernandez (COM '20)
Chase Madden (QST '20)

Chase studies finance at Questrom and undoubtedly would be placed in Slytherin because of it.

GEORGE SHERMAN UNION—It’s been a rough year for the people at Fyre Festival, but they are finally catching a break. This year’s university wide career fair will have Fyre Festival organizers looking for prospective employees.

Boston University officials saw this as a chance to help someone out.

“Yes, we know they left a few thousand people stranded without water in the Caribbean,” said David Maron, organizer of this years career fair. “But we really think that could have happened to any pathetically constructed festival with a sociopathic founder.”

Fyre Festival employees are happy to be at Boston University, with one member calling it “a great place to fulfill my legally obligated community service.”

“We are just happy to be here to talk about the great festival we’re recognized for and the opportunities available for it,” said John Hodgkin, head recruiter for Fyre Festival.

Hodgkin stated that the entry level jobs they are hiring for will not have a ton of work up front, but will include signing various legal documents which Hodgkin encourages employees to skim over and not read.

As for the job itself, the perks don’t look too bad. Some of the perks offered include two weeks of paid vacation (payment timetable to be announced), totally customizable riot gear perfect for interactions with fans, and your very own office. They just ask no one touch anything else due to the ongoing FBI investigation.

“We’re really hoping to have some great people come work with us,” one recruiter added. “We love BU students, especially those who are still financially linked to their parents.”

“We do not judge on past behavior,” further explained Maron. “Just because a company defrauded thousands of investors or once sold uranium to a rogue third world leader does not mean they should miss out on BU students.”

Attendees looking forward to talking with a Fyre Festival recruiter should note that they require a cash deposit before accepting a resumé. Also please be aware that the Security and Exchange Commission’s booth has been moved to the far corner of the room at the request of Fyre Festival recruiters.

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