CAS—Sources report that a lanky and sad screenwriting student, Jared Bukowski, pitched a movie to his screenwriting class about a lanky and sad screenwriting student who embarks on a beautiful romance with a gorgeous yet mysterious goddess of a woman.

“It’s clearly some fantasy about himself, reports his classmate, Danny Minx. “He thought by giving his protagonists glasses we’d be thrown off, but no one was fooled.”

“Screenplays are no place for wish fulfillment,” whispered the shy and unassuming Karen Somers, whose screenplay is about the first shy and unassuming girl to win an NBA Championship.

It has also recently become clear that the romantic lead is modeled after one of Bukowski’s classmates, Jennifer Sens. “It’s an exact description,” complained Sans. “He thought by removing my glasses, we’d be thrown off, but no one was fooled.”

“I want these students to know that beautiful mystery woman won’t cure their sadness,” reports the Professor of the Screenwriting class. “Unless, of course, that woman is a therapist. But in these screenplays, she never is!”

At press time, Bukowski was denying any resemblance to the protagonist. After all, he has 20/20 vision.

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